For Luck
by Cookiethursday
Summary: You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present. - Jan Glidewell Meryl moves forward because the world will continue spinning with or without her. But if she tries, maybe she can make a difference.
1. Why don't You get a Job

I've recently discovered that I don't have the patience or attention span to write long, novel length chapters as I would like. So instead, I'm challenging myself to use as few words as possible. I have no set length or definite schedule for updating, but I do hope that you enjoy my story and leave me any suggestions or comments you may have. It _is _nice to hear from readers.

I feel it goes without saying, but I don't own any part of Trigun.

Ct

No matter how she tried, Meryl couldn't make herself grateful that she still had her job. This part time waitressing was almost more trouble than it was worth. Having the night shift was likely a part of the problem, but someone needed to be home during the day; this afternoon was proof of that.

Millie was out from sunup until nearly sundown bringing home the majority of their income from digging the town's well. This left Meryl with free evenings, and since she was a firm believer that everyone should pull their own weight, she found what she could; waitressing.

Unbeknownst to Meryl, the town had agreed that after the day's event a loud, rowdy night at the bar was without question. After the third time passing John's table on her way to the back of the bar, things seemed to be moving quickly away from accident and to intentional.

Was it something John would normally do? No, not as she knew him. Was he really getting that fresh? No, not terribly. But her ass was her's and not open to the public. Did a sticky serving tray receive a small crack when coming into contact with his head? Maybe.

It was late. She was tired. She smelled like stale beer and her blouse was sticking to her chest. Her feet hurt and she still had the short walk back to their house. The only good things to come of the night were the generous tips she started receiving halfway through her shift. It was after her _white_ serving blouse began leaving less to the imagination than it should have after the drunk bumped her serving tray.

Meryl stepped from the dim light of the now closed saloon and into the dark night outside. She couldn't wait to be home.


	2. Longview

Money was money. If Millie could spend the days under the suns, than by God Meryl could weather a few drunks at night. They only needed these jobs to keep them afloat between the arrivals of their checks from the insurance society.

And the checks were late again. Their arrivals lately were so sporadic that the girls never knew when to expect them. A few months back it had taken so long for their checks to find them that they arrived with the next pay period's checks.

That night had been a celebration. Even Meryl had a few drinks.

Meryl stepped onto their front porch, careful to avoid the squeaky loose board, and unlocked the door. They really should fix the board, but she'd be damned if they put any more money into this house. They had done enough when first moving in.

The girls had actually been quite lucky when they found the house. It was designed to be rented as two separate units, with a bathroom, kitchenette, and bedroom on each floor. The only shared space was the small sitting room at the front of the main floor. The reason for the good price was the town's well.

Unfortunately, the town's old well was nearly dry, and the nearest plant was too far away to be of help. The mayor had begun rationing the water. Luckily for the town, a new water source was located a short while after this began, and plans for a new well were drawn up.

However, the people who could began to leave.

That was how they found such a deal. The landlord had been chewing his nails down in worry. If the new well wasn't successful, it was doubtful that he would ever be able to find new renters for the house. When their ragtag trio had stumbled into town two weeks ago, the man had agreed with little haggling and considered them no small blessing.

The repairs for the house had been minor. It was simply the fact that they needed to be done at all that irked her. The easiest fix had been the stale smell that lingered in the bedrooms. A few days with the windows open had cleared the worst of it. Aside from that, it was the two days of scrubbing counters and cleaning floors in between changing Vash's bandages that brought the house up to standards.


	3. When You Sleep

Meryl flicked off the bathroom light and crossed the short hall to the bedroom. She really was tired, and it was such a relief to put on a clean night shirt. Her blouse was currently soaking in a small tub of water, but she was going to have a hell of a time getting it clean in the morning. Meryl's thoughts were less than kind for that man. The world had once again proven that alcohol could make even the best man no better than a thomas's ass.

Walking blindly in the dark, Meryl slowly crossed to her long awaited bed. However, she came to a complete and immediate stop as unexpected pain seared through her foot and a solid, heavy thump cut across the quiet.

Millie gave a particularly loud snort and rolled over.

Now armed with a scowl, Meryl stepped around her overturned suitcase. Maybe she should start keeping it under her bed? Sitting on the edge of her mattress, she bent to inspect her abused toe. She couldn't see a thing. The tiny window on the far wall really did allow for such little light.


	4. Rapid Hope Loss

The only difference between today and the last ten was a pleasant one; Vash had woken up. When he wanted to sit out front, she and Millie had been happy to help him to the rocking chair. It was such an improvement.

It should have been fine.

He should have been safe.

Meryl's heart raced just a little as she lay in bed and thought about the afternoon. She and Millie had left for work thinking that nothing had changed. They hadn't expected the town's intervention.

The girls had never abused the people's trust.

Vash had given them no trouble.


	5. It Bleeds

What had she been thinking, stepping in front of that man's gun? But she couldn't let Vash die. There was no way that a group of poor ignorant men was going to end things. Not like that.

And then he hugged her. What was running through that crazy head of his? He was still recovering from multiple gunshot wounds! And now all of those cuts and bruises from being dragged behind a truck!

She almost thought he let them carry him away.

What a stupid man.

But it was ok, because he was still alive.

Hell, she was still alive.


	6. I was made for Sunny Days

The morning was a pleasant one.

Meryl had woken two hours after the suns began their daily routine across the sky. After stretching, she had slowly started her own mourning routine: Go to the bathroom. Brush her teeth. Wash her face. Check on the humanoid typhoon. Yes, a very simple morning routine.

And the best part by far had been the few quiet moments consisting of only her and her coffee.

Meryl had filled the hours between morning and afternoon with the mundane chores of everyday life. The kitchen was scrubbed and cleaned and their few dishes placed back in the cupboard. Her worn broom made sure to leave no floor board untouched and her tatty damp rag found all of the dust clinging to the windows. Her blouse, on the other hand, had given her a bit of trouble. Three mildly successful scrubs later and it was still in the tub soaking, the stain clinging obstinately to just below the collar.

Meryl glanced at the small clock on the dining room wall with mild surprise. Millie would be home any moment, and the big girl always arrived with a cloud of dust and an empty stomach.

Ttime for lunch.


	7. I feel Fine

The floor boards creaking overhead indicated that Vash was awake and restless. Before long the door to his room opened and closed, and Meryl could hear the soft thud of his boots on the stairs. Bringing a loaf of bread back to the counter, she watched him walk to the kitchen table and have a seat.

He was hiding his limp remarkably well.

"You're looking better today." She casually remarked as she added meat slices to the sandwiches. "Are you certain you should be up?"

"Oh course." Vash grinned and rolled his shoulders as proof.

Meryl couldn't quite believe him.


	8. Change Your Mind

A comfortable silence spread between Vash and Meryl as lunch was prepped. However, it wasn't long before Vash interrupted it.

"I was thinking to sit outside this afternoon."

Meryl paused in peeling a fruit to turn and level him with a look. "I don't think that's the best idea." She said wryly. "The last time we let you, we ended the day with you tied up and a gun between my eyes."

Checking his nervous habit to scratch his neck in embarrassment, Vash gave his best sad puppy-eyes.

Meryl spun back around, unsure if she'd otherwise be able to resist.


	9. Anything But Ordinary

"Hi Meryl. I'm home!" Millie called as she opened the screen door. She kicked her boots off near the row of shoes lining the wall, mud falling off in clumps. When she noticed Vash sitting at the table, Millie's eyes lit up and a large smile pulled across her face. "Mr. Vash! You're awake!"

Vash gave her one of his oversized smiles in return. "Yeah! I'm up and feeling great. How was work?"

Millie sat across from him and ignored his question. "You know, Mr. Vash, it's a real relief that you heal so quick." She said seriously. "With all the trouble that finds you, it could be really bad!"

Vash gave a loud laugh, feeling awkward. "That's very true."

The big insurance girl's expression returned to her normal happy smile. "Mr. Vash, I'm really glad that I received this assignment. Ever since we met you, life has been so exciting. It's all been one big, crazy adventure!" Millie laughed and she poured a glass of water from the pitcher on the table. "There were a few times when things looked dark, but as my big sister is always telling me, you have to take the good with the bad."

Millie took a big drink before looking at Vash with a grin. "I've been thinking, and I think that the sad times make all of the wonderful memories from our trips that much brighter. I've had a lot of fun following you, Mr. Vash."

Vash was silent. He didn't know how to respond.

He did get into a lot of trouble. And the girls were often in trouble because they followed him. How often had they helped patch him up? And Millie said she had fun?

Maybe…

Acting in the quick draw tournament had been exciting. Drinking with Millie and Woolfwood while Meryl refereed was always a good time. Wrestling and playing dodge ball with kids in the towns they passed through were also bright moments in his memory.

Vash gave a small chuckle and smiled. "Yeah, I guess it has been fun."


	10. Stay Pretty

Lunch was ready. Meryl set the plates of fruit and sandwiches, along with the pan of leftover soup from the night before, on the table. "There is also a small bowl of pudding in the icebox for dessert. It's green tea rice pudding."

Vash quirked an eyebrow at Meryl as he bit into his sandwich. "Sounds different," He mumbled around the food in his mouth.

Meryl nodded. "It is. I also added a little green food coloring. I still had some leftover from the festival we stopped at last month." She laughed. "The one where you guys insisted your beer needed to be green like everyone else's. Remember?"

Millie giggled. "That was a good night! The festival was so much fun! There's just something about green beer." Her look was wistful as she took another bite of sandwich.

"Wait, so it's home made? Not from a box?" Vash looked a little excited as he pulled another sandwich onto his plate.

Meryl shrugged, "Yeah. There wasn't enough cream to make a whole box of instant, so I halved an old recipe I use when I'm at home." She looked up at him. "Why?"

Vash swallowed the food in his mouth and waved his hand in the air. "Oh, no reason. I just didn't realize you could cook. But I guess you did make the soup the other day." He leaned over the table and gave the pot a curious look.

A few moments later, her sandwich finished, Meryl got up and pulled the pudding from the icebox. Using a serving spoon from the silverware drawer near the sink, she doled out generous scoops into two bowls. She brought them to the table and gave one each to Vash and Millie. As she sat down, Meryl reached across the table for another piece of fruit. Arms resting on the table, thoughts drifting down their own paths, she nibbled on her fruit.

Scrapping sounds of spoon on bowl were coming from Millie's direction, and Vash glanced between her and the quiet Meryl before taking a bite. It was good. It wasn't so thin as to be runny, and it wasn't setting his teeth on edge from the sugar. Who knew that Meryl could cook?

Vash looked at Meryl again and spoke around the spoon in his mouth. "Why aren't you eating any of your pudding? Wasn't there enough for all of us?" Now he held his bowl out to her, spoon dangling from his mouth. "Is good! You shouldn't be missing out on this!"

Falling back into reality with a jerk, Meryl looked at Vash, confused. "What?"

"Yeah Meryl!" Millie joined in now as she scrapped what was left from her bowl. "You really should have some! You make some of the best pudding!"

She waved them off before reaching for the last piece of fruit. "Oh no, I'm fine. But thank you."

Vash gave her a searching look before settling into a glare. However, its effectiveness was dampened by the spoon still hanging from his mouth. "There isn't something you need to tell us, is there insurance girl? We're not tight on money or anything are we?"

Meryl gave him another confused look. "What on Earth are you talking about? We're doing just fine with money. I wouldn't ever let it be otherwise."

With a movement quicker than her eye could follow, Vash whipped the spoon out of his mouth and pointed it threateningly at her. "Then why aren't you eating any of this amazing pudding!"

Meryl's look clearly stated what she thought of his sanity. "Or maybe I don't want any sweets? Maybe Keith is too good to me on my breaks and gives me enough for three meals? Maybe I've had a hard time turning down a doughnut with you the past couple days? Maybe I want to be able to fit in my clothes at the end of the week?" She took a pointed bite of the fruit slice.

Vash pulled the spoon out of Meryl's face and frowned into his pudding. "Yeah, well, maybe I'm done sharing my doughnuts with you."

Meryl snorted. "Yeah, and who pays for those?" She turned her nose in the air and finished the last of the fruit. "Maybe I'll stop buying doughnuts. That will certainly be better for my waist line."

Vash was in quiet thought for the span of two seconds before spinning around to Meryl, a serious look in his eyes. "I find your trade of pudding for doughnuts more than acceptable. Please know that I fully respect your decision to pass on the pudding today."

The little insurance girl met his look with equal mock solemnity. "I'm glad we're on the same page."


	11. Take It Easy

Millie watched Meryl and Vash with a smile. They really were amusing some times.

"So, Meryl, what are we doing this afternoon?" Millie stood and began clearing the table.

Suddenly tense, Meryl glanced at Millie before hastily looking at Vash and then nervously eyeing her cup. "There really isn't much. I was actually thinking we could sit on the porch. I'll finish Vash's coat while you fix your stun gun." Meryl peeked uncertainly at Vash again.

It'd been so long since they enjoyed an afternoon together. Millie's smile grew. "That's a great idea! I'll clean out the dirt that got in it when I removed boulders from the well yesterday." She turned to Vash. "What about you, Mr. Vash? Would you like to sit out front with us?"

Vash watched Meryl a moment as she continued inspecting her glass. Then looking back up, he grinned. "Why Millie, that sounds wonderful!"


	12. I Drive Myself Crazy

What was he going to do?

He couldn't just walk up to Knives and be like hey buddy, would you mind stopping this silly game of chase we've been playing around the world? I know, I know, we've been playing for years, so this is going to create a large opening in your daily agenda, but I really think it's for the best. And oh yeah, could you maybe stop killing humans like a thomas kills buckets of water? They're really not so bad. As a matter of fact, I've been living with two very nice ones for some time now. And, oh! Idea! Why don't you just come back and stay with us? It'll be great! Slumber parties every night, homemade pancakes in the morning (Meryl is a great cook), and discounts on beer at the local bar! Why? Oh, that's because Meryl is moonlighting as one of their waitresses right now and she loves us.

Right. A brilliant plan if ever there was one.

"Rem, what do I do?"

There was a light pressure on his lap, and Vash looked down to see the little black cat stretch out across his legs. What a life this cat must lead. Right now, his biggest worry was finding a warm spot of early morning light to nap in. And how lucky was he? One just happened to exist in the lap of a human. If he played his cards right, there was a good chance of a tummy rub in the near future.

Vash smiled and decided to indulge his small friend. While his problems were large and looming darkly over his shoulder, they weren't yet upon him. Today was not that day.

Vash rocked back in the porch's chair. The cat's purring from his lap was soft and happy.


	13. Attention

It was going to be another hot day.

Not that every day on this dust ball of a planet wasn't, but it was barely midmorning and Meryl could already feel sweat trailing down the small of her back. And on top of that, this market was going to be a busy one. Crowds were already gathered inside and around the little town. People had been bumping around and running past their house all morning. Town hadn't been this busy since last market.

That had been just before Vash woke up.

Main Street was lined with venders and their supplies. A few of the town's local shops, such as Dwyer's Cloth and the general store, were also offering sales on some of their items. Dozens of trucks, jeeps, and various portable housing ringed the town's outer edge. The people who couldn't afford or wouldn't fit inside one of the in-town stalls set up shop beside their vehicles.

Meryl stepped into the street and began looking through the stalls. She really ought to stop by the Dwyer's store while she was out as well. She had been buying the things she needed to fix Vash's coat there, and Mrs. Dwyer had been very helpful. It would be nice to let her know how it turned out. She could also say hello to Jen while she was there.

"What do you mean you're out of doughnuts?" Oh no. Meryl knew that voice. "The market's barely begun! You can't be out of doughnuts already." Meryl could pick that whine out of a crowed anywhere. Meryl had literally turned her back to him for seconds and he was already causing trouble. It had to be a new record. She had told Millie it would be better to leave him at the house today!

She found him three stalls over looking as if someone had just kicked his puppy. Before him was a tiny, gray haired old lady. She was wearing a flour covered apron over her dress, and a wooden spoon was clutched tightly in her fist. Above her was a large hand painted sign saying 'Abby's Doughnuts,' over which was a tiny paper one with 'Away From Stall' scrawled across it. Before Meryl could say anything to excuse Vash, the old lady let him have it.

"You know, sonny, if you'd just let me finish speaking or bothered to read my sign, you'd know we are not closed for the day." She waved her spoon over her head and glared up at Vash. "Does my sign say 'Closed'?" Vash opened his mouth to respond, but she didn't let him. "No! It says 'Away From Stall', which implies that we'll be back!

"We had quite the rush this morning, and my boy Benny just ran down a few stalls to get me some more eggs." The old woman tossed an egg carton across the stall for Vash to see. The oddly shaped bit of cardboard was indeed empty.

She turned to look down her nose at him, which was quite an accomplishment considering her tiny build. When this didn't work, she flapped her gnarled old hands across the stall at him in a shooing motion. "Now you get on out of here for a bit. I'm certain that by time you finish your shopping with your lovely young lady here," Meryl blushed bright red as one of the crooked fingers turned her way, "we'll have a whole fresh batch waiting for you. Now off with you." She shooed Vash away once more and watched as he turned away in defeat.

Meryl tried to smile at the woman as she began forming an apology. "I am so, so sorry for any trouble he caused. He gets a little excited sometimes." She chuckled nervously and checked over her shoulder to be sure Vash hadn't found anymore trouble. "Truly," she turned back around, "he's got a good heart; it's just that he gets a little carried away at times."

Honestly, a person would think that with the number of times she had apologized for this idiot that she'd be used to it by now. By all rights, she should be a pro! Instead she was standing here babbling like an idiot.

The old woman looked over at Vash as well. He was sitting on a bench, listening to Sawyer and Zeke while they waited for their mother to finish her shopping. Whatever the young boys had to say must have been very important, for they had his undivided attention. "Ay, I see it." The old woman turned and gave Meryl a knowing smile.

She wasn't sure she liked it.

"He was no trouble. I just wish people would read my sign." The woman gave said sign a loud bang with her wooden spoon, causing Meryl to jump. "I make them for a reason, you know!"

"Yes, I imagine you do." Meryl nodded and stepped away from the stall. "Well, I'm sure we'll be seeing you again soon." Giving a quick wave, she turned to weave through the growing crowed.


	14. Fall Away

"So," Vash stood behind Meryl and watched as she picked through the fresh fruit in the stall's cart. Most of them weren't quite ripe yet, and would need a few days in the kitchen's windowsill. It had been the same in the other fruit carts; the bright reds and oranges still hinted at green. Oh well. At least they weren't rotten.

"So," Vash started again. "I didn't know you could cook. "

Since the doughnut fiasco, Vash had been playing nice. So far he had followed through on his promise to help carry the groceries. He had also kept his interactions with the stall venders to benign greetings and pleasantries. Meryl was still debating whether or not she was angry with him, but his stunted attempts at conversation were rather amusing.

Meryl shrugged and moved to pay the vendor. "I really haven't had the chance to lately, so it's no surprise that you didn't know. Considering the life you lead, it's amazing I've had a chance at all." She accepted her change with a smile and moved on to the next stall.

Vash shuffled along close behind her, bags swinging at his side. "Still, who'd of thought that there was a chef hidden behind all of that paper work?"

Meryl snorted as she considered a loaf of bread. Did she want the sour dough or the honey nut? Either one would be a nice change from the plain white bread they offered at the general store. Maybe she should get both. The way Vash and Millie ate, both loafs would certainly be gone before they went bad.

With a nod, Meryl paid for the bread and handed the bag to Vash. "Yes, well, who would have guessed that there was actually a brain under all of that spiky hair?"

"Now, now, there's no need to get mean!"

"Well, there is more to us than just paper work!" Seeing the coffee stall, Meryl began making her way over. She was half way across the street when she suddenly stopped. Turning around, she looked up at Vash. "Did you know that Millie has a degree in psychology?"

Vash chuckled. "You know, that actually explains a lot."

Meryl considered him a moment before she spun around on her heal and continued over to the coffee. "You know, you have some pretty amazing features hidden yourself. Which of those wonderful facets is visible depends entirely on the good fortune of the person meeting you." Meryl tossed this over her shoulder as she stepped up to the stall.

It was a moment before she felt Vash step up beside her. He spent a quiet moment studying the coffee beans, considering her words. "Aside from the obvious, ah, secrets you're now aware of, what do you mean?" When she didn't answer right away he shifted nervously beside her. "Or _is_ that what you were referring to?"

Meryl sighed and looked up at the tall man beside her. Although he looked for all the world to be calm and composed, she could see he was holding himself back. What had him so nervous, she wasn't sure. And the market seemed a terrible place to be pointing out secrets. She shook her head at him. "Do you really want to have this conversation here?"

Vash shrugged. The bags at his sides crinkled against each other. "Why not?"

Meryl took a deep breath and let it out slowly. If he didn't care, then why should she? Although why a man needed his own secrets pointed out to him was beyond her.

"Vash," she said his name quietly, "You _are_ one big secret. I'm nervous to say your name out loud lest we alarm the venders. Our truce with the town is a shaky one at best because they only know your reputation. But you know this. Just like you know your secret gun is an ace in the whole." She lightly touched his arm before letting her hand rest at her side again.

Then she snorted and gave him a rueful smile. "How many times did we run into you before I finally believed that you were actually _the _Vash? I never would have guessed you for an ace gunman. You're really good at the simpleton act."

He scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed. "Yeah, well, it's been pretty useful."

"Exactly!" She said triumphantly. "What psycho killer walks around with that grin? But on the other hand, I've seen how you are when you need to be serious. No one would expect you to run off to play dodge ball and eat ice cream with the local kids." Thinking the topic thoroughly explained and the conversation over, Meryl turned back to the barrels of coffee.

Vash was quiet while she paid for the coffee. He was also quiet as they weaved between vender's stalls and shoppers. He was doing a lot better since the few days after he woke up, but Meryl still worried about him. They were almost to the butcher's stall before he spoke again. "Do I really get that scary?"

Boy, was he full of fun questions today!

Meryl shook her head. "No, not usually."

She hadn't taken two steps before Vash grabbed her arm and stopped them between two stalls. "Not usually?" She looked back at him, confused. He looked serious and uncertain, and when she didn't respond right away, he repeated himself. "You said not usually."

This day was really going downhill fast. What reason could he possibly have to talk about this right now? And what made him think she would admit to such things? Meryl was never scared. She was always in complete control of herself and her surroundings. This was such a ridiculous conversation.

"Once," she said softly. "Once I thought you were rather frightening." Meryl looked up from the button on his cotton shirt she had been studying to give him a weak smile. "But you had good reason for it. I really should have listened." She dropped her eyes back to his button.

He let go of her arm and let out one of his loud, awkward laughs. "I scared you? You? Derringer Meryl?" he laughed again. "I don't believe it!"

Meryl scowled at him and turned to leave. "Ok, now you're just mocking me."

"No, no, no, no! Wait! I'm sorry!" He grabbed her arm to stop her again. "I just don't like the idea that I scared you."

Meryl spun around with an angry glare. "And I don't like the idea that you didn't scare me more. If you had, then none of this would have happened!"

Vash looked down at her, confused. "Do you mean my reputation? Do you regret being assigned as my insurance girl?"

They held eyes for a moment before Meryl tore hers away. "No." She once again took up study of the incredibly interesting button on his shirt. She hadn't noticed before that it had four tiny holes for the thread to be pulled through. Interesting. "No. I mean, if anything, I agree with what Millie said the other day. Life has been really interesting since we met you."

"Then I call shenanigans!" He crowed triumphantly. "I've never really scared you."

Meryl let out a huff of exasperation. "Yes, you did. But only once, and it obviously didn't do much as I'm still here." Vash stared down at her like he didn't know what to think. Meryl didn't like it, so she took a deep breath and decided to clarify. "Listen, around you, I'm always afraid that someone is going to get hurt or some building is going to explode. Every day I worry that someone will finally succeed in blowing your head off." Vash made as if to speak, so Meryl held up her hand to stall him. "The one thing I don't worry about is you hurting me or anyone around us.

"But for a moment, when you were fighting Monev, I wasn't sure. I still didn't believe you'd hurt us, but I wasn't sure what you'd do." Vash's grip on her arm loosened and he nodded his head. It hurt to talk about this, but she had to say it. Gathering all of her courage, Meryl finally let out what had been eating at her for weeks.

An apology.

"I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry." She held his eyes with hers, wanting him to understand. "I should have listened. I just didn't like that you scared me, and I wanted to prove to myself that you didn't. I also thought that Millie was right; if we didn't follow you, then we might never find you again." She took a deep, shaky breath. "And because of this, you had to make a terrible decision. So I'd like to say both I'm sorry, and thank you."

Still keeping eye contact, Vash slowly set the bags of groceries on the ground. Then just as slowly, he pulled Meryl into a loose hug. "No, I'm sorry. You're right, you shouldn't have followed me, but I'm really glad you did."

She stiffened in his arms. This close to him, she could feel everything. And even though he was being careful, she could feel the plate across his chest and the metal of his fake arm. How could she forget all of the things he had been through? She'd only just been applauding his acting skills, and here she had fallen for them herself.

Vash laughed into her hair. He sounded tired. "I know it's very selfish of me. You get into so much trouble just from following me, and you're life is always in danger." She didn't know what to say. He sighed.

"Meryl, he's out to get me. Knives," Vash swallowed hard, and Meryl could feel him struggling. "Knives wants me dead. He knows all of me weaknesses, and I've known for a long time that he would catch me again. He's been trying for years." He took a deep breath. "So, this is me saying thank you for being there."

Meryl's thoughts were racing a mile a minute. She didn't' know what to say. Was he really serious? He was happy that they followed him? Tentatively, Meryl reached up to return the hug. "Oh, well, you're welcome." She hadn't realized how tense he was until she felt him relax beneath her fingers.

After a tight squeeze, Vash pulled back and smiled at her. "So, insurance girl, what do we have left on your list?" As he bent down to pick the groceries back up, Meryl quickly scanned over her list. It was a relief to have things back in a place where she understood them. It was important to know one's place.

Meryl folded her paper and continued down the street. "We're actually almost done. I think the butcher's shop is our last stop. Then we can drop everything off at the house and meet Millie for lunch." Maybe the day wouldn't be too bad after all. The shopping was almost done and she'd soon be relaxing with an ice cold drink.

The conversation was done, the case closed, and she never wanted to think about any of it again.

"Don't forget about the doughnuts!"

Meryl smiled and shook her head. "Ah yes, Heaven forbid I forget the doughnuts."

Well, that was the longest chapter yet, coming in at just under 2,000 words. I'm not sure if anything of this nature will happen again, so if this was more to your liking, I apologize. I tried to keep the drama and fluff to a minimum. If I took a ride on the Fail Boat during this endeavor, I apologize for this as well.

I hope everyone here with me is enjoying the story so far! See you next chapter : )


	15. Midnight Blue

Hello happy people. I just wanted to share that I thought _Lost Planet_ from the OST fit this really well.

Happy Reading.

Meryl peeped out the open window. Seeing him still there, she knocked on the frame. "Would you mind some company?" After a moment he shrugged and waved her out. She was still dressed in her waitress uniform, having just gotten home, so it was a little difficult to slide through the window. After unhooking her sleeve from a loose nail, she climbed out onto the porch overhang and sat down beside him.

They were quiet for a while, looking out over the town. The night was bright and beautiful with the moons nearly full. A few stars worked hard to outshine moons, and were twinkling happily. Lost in their own musings, they enjoyed each other's company.

A funny thought came to Meryl and she worked to hold in a laugh. Vash looked at her, an eyebrow raised. "What?"

Shaking her head, she smiled."Nothing. I was just thinking." Looking up at the moons, she added, "Millie and I are just lucky that you're one of the easiest men in the world to track down."

He turned to her, surprised. "It can't be that easy."

At this, Meryl finally allowed herself to laugh. "At first it wasn't. Our very first run-ins with you were total luck. But once you start looking for a tall, goofy, blond man in a bright red coat that leads destruction about by the nose," Meryl shrugged. "No, it's not so hard."

Vash shrunk in on himself, suddenly self conscious. Patting at his hair, he asked "Really? Maybe I need a new haircut or something."

Meryl waved him off. "No, it suits you. Besides, the last time we tracked you down, it was by way of doughnuts."

Vash laughed. "Really? I always knew they were a special food." Thinking on it a minute, he turned a glared at her. "Wait a minute; don't you think that's a little creepy?"

"How so?"

"How so?" He repeated, exasperated. "Oh, I don't know. How would you feel if I was stalking you girls around the world?"

Meryl laughed again. "If only we could be so lucky. It would certainly make my job easier. I wouldn't have to worry about losing track of you again." Vash smirked and looked back at the stars.

Meryl let the quiet spread between them again before pulling every bit of her courage together. She didn't like having all of these emotional talks. Really, it just meant that she was spending too much time around the emotional broom head beside her. Sappy sentimentality seemed to be catchy.

Meryl took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You're leaving soon, aren't you?" She leaned forward and wrapped her arms tightly around her legs. "Somewhere Millie and I can't go."

"Yes."

Meryl nodded her head. "You can come back here, you know. When you're done with what you need to do." She didn't look away from the moons. "We've already paid for the next month's rent, so there is plenty of time. There won't be any rush or anything."

Meryl was suddenly nervous that she had gone too far this time. Surely she had stepped over some boundaries somewhere. But she was worried about him! She had every intention of listening to him this time. She wouldn't follow. So he needed to come back!

"I think I'd like that."

Surprised, she looked up at him. She couldn't see much of his expression from where she was, but he seemed serious. She smiled. "Good. Just make sure you come back in one piece, ok? I'm going broke from buying all of these bandages."

Vash gave her a rueful smile. "I'll certainly give it my best shot."

With a long, dramatic sigh, Meryl sat back on her hands "I suppose I'll have some on hand just in case, then."

They lapsed into another comfortable silence. She knows he is leaving. She knows he has to, and that there is a good chance that he won't come back. He knows she's worried. He also knows that it's not for the damage he might cause or the paper work he'll create.

A large yawn grabbed hold of Meryl, and she stretched her hands over her head. Her shoulders gave a satisfying 'pop' before she brought her arms back down. "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm tired. I think I'm heading in for the night. See you tomorrow." Offering a quick wave, she inched back up to the window.

"Good night."


	16. Friend of a Friend

Around mid afternoon there was a light knock on the door. Millie opened it to Sawyer and Zeke waiting politely on her front porch. "Good afternoon. How can I help you boys?"

Unable to contain himself, little Zeke broke out in an excited grin. "Is Mr. Vash home? We promised to tell him as soon as we figured out the combination to Mrs. Krause's back freezer lock over at the general store. He wanted in on the ice cream too!"

"Idiot!" Sawyer pushed his little brother, nearly knocking him down. "You weren't supposed to tell her that!"

Catching his balance, the little boy turned wide eyes on Millie. "I, I uh, I mean – We were just wondering if Mr. Vash was home!"

Millie fought back a grin. "I'm sorry, but he's not here right now. When he gets back, I'll be sure to let him know."

Sawyer wasn't convinced. Giving her the stink eye, he stepped back to get a good look at her. "You promise not to tell anyone else?"

She held up her hand beside her head, palm out. "On my honor."

This seemed to satisfy the boy, as he nodded his head. "All right. Well, do you know when he'll be back?"

Millie frowned and shook her head. "Again, I'm sorry, but I don't know. It could be a few days or a week."

This clearly wasn't the answer they'd been hoping for. "Well, shoot." Sawyer swore. "We can't wait that long. The plan is for after dinner tonight!" He sighed and tugged on Zeke's sleeve. "Come on. Guess we're all doing it without him."

Zeke looked up at Millie. With a mood swing only a child could handle, he gave her a bright, happy grin. "Well, good bye Miss. Millie!" And with that he ran down the steps and followed his big brother across the street.

Millie watched the boys meet with a small group of children on the front porch of the Clarkes' house. She could tell from the loud moans and angry kicks at the dirt exactly when the bad news was delivered. However, it wasn't long before the group was in a tight power huddle, everyone squeezing in tight together. A few minutes later they broke apart and scattered across town, likely with plans for a secret meeting later that evening.

Millie smiled and stepped back into the house. It looked like she'd be delivering a warning this afternoon. It also seemed that she would be purchasing a small fortune in ice cream that she'd never have the chance to eat.


	17. The Waiting

She could sweep the floor. She had already done that once this morning, but Millie surely brought more dirt in with her at lunch. The table and counters could be wiped down. That too had already been done once today, but it wouldn't hurt to do it again, right?

What was there to do? Maybe she'd go check Vash's room. He didn't own much, but he was a man. That made him a slob by default. Except he wasn't there, and it felt odd. She couldn't really go into his room. Then she could start the report! There wasn't much to write, and it didn't need to be sent out for over a week, but it couldn't hurt to get a head start. Right?

No, she couldn't sit that long. She needed something to do. She needed to keep moving. Maybe she could visit Millie? She didn't mind the well diggers. They seemed a good sort of people. But no, they were busy.

Meryl sighed and walked another lap around the living room. She felt trapped; she couldn't move forward. She was stuck in a time warp, waiting for the catalyst that would set her free. The worst part of it all was that she didn't know if it would ever arrive. Whether it wished to or not, her means of escape may very well never come.

Waiting was a terrible thing.

Meryl shook her head and took a deep breath. Letting it out slowly, she forced herself to smile. This was silly. Why was she worrying about things she couldn't control? She should be enjoying the quiet of the afternoon.

The Heavens knew how busy it was going be when he came back.


	18. If I aint got You

Meryl stared at her glass on the kitchen table, and watched as a bead of sweat slowly made its way down the side. The diggers had hit on an unexpected layer of rock that afternoon, causing a major delay. They weren't sure how much time this would add, but said it could be a long while. The original finish date had been scheduled for this afternoon.

This was her glass of water for the day.

Feeling the weight of someone's eyes on her, Meryl looked across the table at Millie. The big insurance girl was struggling to put on her best happy face. "It'll be all right, Meryl. Vash will come home, we'll find water, and everything will be ok. You'll see!"

Meryl studied Millie a moment. Sometimes she forgot how well Millie could bottle things up. Her air of happy optimism was very convincing. No, Meryl took that back, Millie was genuine. There was nothing false or counterfeit about her. What Millie was, truly, was strong. Every day she continued moving, no matter the circumstances.

"Millie, you really are amazing. I'm sorry I've been such a downer lately. I," Meryl paused. Her smile was sad. "How are you?"

Tilting her head to the side, the big insurance girl blinked, confused. "What do you mean? I feel just fine."

Meryl shook her head. "No. I mean, ah," she floundered, looking for the right words. She wanted Millie to talk and share; to say anything that was weighing her down. Meryl just didn't know how to ask her. "I mean, about Wolfwood."

Millie looked down at her folded hands on the table top. Her shoulders were slumped forward and she seemed to fall into herself. "I can't lie to you. It hurts." Her words were slow and breathy. "Nicholas is gone where I can't follow. He's gone forever. And now, Mr. Vash has left us, and we're not sure if he's ok or when he'll be back." Millie sniffed and wiped at her eyes with her shirt sleeve.

Meryl's heart broke when Millie looked up at her. To see this happy, bubbly girl's tears, Meryl knew life wasn't where it should be. What were they doing here? They were in over their heads.

"Meryl, do you remember what you originally thought of this assignment?" Millie clenched and unclenched her fists. "I don't. I don't remember what I expected from this assignment. But I do know that this wasn't it."

The chair scraping across the floor was loud and echoed around the tiny house as Meryl slid closer to Millie. Leaning in, she pulled the girl into a tight hug. Millie buried her face in Meryl's shoulder, arms squeezing her tight, and cried. Making quiet, soothing sounds around her own choked back tears, Meryl whispered "It's going to be ok. I promise."


	19. Some Fantastic

The suns were high in the sky, only just beginning the slow slope into the day's second half. Millie wiped the sweat from her forehead, leaving a muddy streak behind, and began making her way from the well behind the others. The big insurance girl was starving, and couldn't wait for her lunch. Hopefully Meryl brought her a turkey sandwich today. Not that she'd ever complain, but she was a little tired of the caned salmon.

Stepping up from the top of the ladder, Millie turned and smiled down the well. "Have a good break, Mr. Christian! I know I will." She giggled. "I'm starving!"

The young man at the bottom waved her off with a smile. "You go and enjoy your lunch, Millie. I think I'll stay and work a bit more." With a serious expression, he looked down to study the ground beneath his feet. "I have a good feeling about today. I honestly think we're almost there."

Millie frowned uncertainly. "Well, be careful and make sure you find some time for lunch. Mrs. Kimberly would never forgive me if I came back to find you suffering from the suns."

Smiling, he gave her a mock salute. "Aye-aye captain!" then he was raising his pickax over his head and driving its sharp point swiftly into the ground.

Meryl was sitting on the edge of the saloon's front porch. She began pulling sandwiches and small baggies of assorted goodies from the sack beside her when she saw Millie. "I hope you're hungry," the small insurance girl laughed. "I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach when I packed lunch."

Millie smiled and sat down beside her. "Of course I'm hungry! I haven't eaten anything since break, and I missed breakfast this morning." Accepting a wrapped sandwich, her smile broadened. How lucky was she? It was turkey!

It was a pleasant picnic. They passed the time with idle chatter and kind greetings from passing townsfolk. Meryl had packed a few of the cookies she made the afternoon before, and Millie happily munched on them.

She was just thinking that her break was near half over when Millie felt something on her arm. It wasn't long before there was a growing staccato moving across her and a whoop of joy echoed through town. "Water! It's water!" The town suddenly came alive as people burst from their homes and into the streets, laughing and shouting in excitement.

The two insurance girls looked at each other in shock before breaking into identical grins. "It's water, Meryl. We've found water!"

"Millie!" The shout came from the well, and the girls turned in time to see Christian's sopping wet head come over the lip of the well. "Millie! What'd I tell you Millie? I told you I had a good feeling about today!" The man's face was a study in happiness, a grin pulling from ear to ear.

Christian hadn't taken three steps from the side of the well before he stopped and turned to his side. "Zeke!" He called with a laugh. Scooping his grinning boy up, he spun him around with another laugh. "It's water! We've found water!"

As the two came to a giggling stop, Kim and Sawyer came running around the corner. Millie and Meryl stood watching the happy family a moment as the town celebrated around them. Water was still shooting high into the air from deep within the well and showering happily around the street. The spray was a cool, cleansing relief from the cruel heat of the suns.

Something in the corner of her eye caught Millie's attention, and she turned to look out across the desert. Wiping water from her eyes, she focused on the tiny dot on the horizon. As it came closer and its shape became clear, she turned excitedly and grabbed Meryl's arm. Pulling her attention from the happy people around them, Millie pointed to the figure coming into focus. "Meryl! Look!"

Following the direction of Millie's flailing arm, she gasped. "It couldn't be!" Wiping water from her eyes, Meryl looked again, smiling. "It is! It's Vash!"


	20. I've just seen a Face

"Christian!" Slipping in the growing mud, Meryl turned and ran to her celebrating neighbors. "Christian! Can I borrow your car?"

The man turned to her, confused. "Of course. The keys are in on the kitchen counter." He shifted Zeke higher on his hip. "But if you don't mind me asking, what could you possibly need it for?"

"It's Vash!" Millie skidded to a halt beside them, kicking mud up everywhere. She was grinning from ear to ear. "He's back! Vash is back!"

"Vash?" The boys shouted together. Zeke struggled in his father's arms, trying to get down. "We're coming too!"


	21. Hitchin' A Ride

The jeep bounced across the scorched sand, rocking its passengers. Meryl sat on the edge of her seat, a white-knuckle grip on the door and an excited smile on her lips. All still dripping wet and riding on a natural high from the discovery of water, Meryl and the Clarke boys had piled into the jeep in a mad rush. As Christian peeled out of town, Meryl had given a brief wave to Millie and Kim, who stayed behind to gather the undoubtedly needed bandages and antiseptics.

As they came up close to Vash, Meryl noticed the second person with him for the first time. She'd only gotten extra bandages as a joke. The girls really had quite a supply to begin with, but apparently it was a good thing she had actually gone out and purchased some. If she knew Vash at all, and she liked to think she did, having both him and an extra man in her care again was going to put a slight strain on her first aid kit.

She jumped from the jeep before Christian had turned it off. The moment her feet touched the ground, she ran to close the remaining gap. "Vash!" she shouted, "we thought you might like a lift!" Meryl checked herself just before tackling him in a hug, and instead stopped a short distance from him.

Wiping a hand across his sweaty forehead, Vash smiled at her. "I certainly wouldn't turn one down." Having seen their jeep coming his way, Vash had laid his bag on the ground and rested the man he carried against it. The mystery man was unconscious and heavily bandaged.

By now Sawyer and Zeke had also jumped from the jeep and were quickly making their way over. "Vash!" Sawyer hollered as he ran. "You're back!"

Zeke was grinning like a little imp as he danced happily from foot to foot in front of Vash. "I'm glad you're back! Afternoons after class haven't been as much fun without you around." Pausing a moment, he frowned and whispered "I'm sorry, but you missed the ice cream. It was really good. Ouch!" The last came as a loud yelp as he was suddenly lurching to the side. The boy kicked up sand on everyone as he scrambled to catch his balance. Zeke turned an angry glare on Sawyer as he rubbed at his arm. "What was that for?"

Sawyer crossed his arms and turned away."Idiot. I'm not including you anymore if you can't keep quiet."

The younger boy looked down and shuffled his feet. "Sorry."

"Hey Vash." Christian, having finally caught up, stepped between his boys with a smile to shake Vash's hand. "Welcome back."

Vash grinned. "Thank you. I'm glad to be."

Meryl could tell he was tired. He was stripped down to his armor, which explained where the mystery man's bandages came from. It was also likely that he was starving, as there hadn't been a noticeable absence of food in the cupboards when he left the week before. If she wasn't mistaken, he also seemed to be favoring his right arm a little. But even so, he looked really happy.

Suddenly awkward, Vash scratched at the back of his neck. "Would you mind helping me? It's been a long walk, and he's a bit heavy." He said and gestured between the mystery man and the parked jeep. Christian nodded and stepped around to take the man's legs.

"Who is he?" Sawyer was looking curiously around Vash to get a good look at the unconscious man. Even around the bandages and large rips in places, it was obvious his clothes were a material Meryl had never seen before. His blond hair stuck up at an odd angle on one side as he slumped heavily against Vash's bag. He looked strangely familiar, but she couldn't be sure.

"Yeah, who is he?" Zeke echoed his brother.

Vash looked down at the man with a sad frown. "I found him out in the desert. He was badly injured, and I was hoping we could offer him some help." He looked up and met Meryl's eyes. Taking a deep breath, she nodded.

With a little effort, Christian and Vash laid the unconscious man across the back seat of the jeep, along with Vash's bag. The boys squeezed into the front seat with their dad, arguing the entire time about who had more space and who hit who first. Meryl and Vash sat together in the back.

As the jeep started up, Meryl dug through a small bag she had with her. "I brought water." Pulling out a small canteen, she handed it to him. "I had a feeling that you may have run out by now."

Eyes lighting up at the sight of the canteen, Vash snatched it from her hand and emptied it in a few large gulps. After tipping it back to make certain he'd gotten it all, he looked over at her with a happy smile. "You, insurance girl, are a miracle."

She laughed and pushed back her wind whipped hair. "No, you just don't plan for anything." Meryl glanced over her shoulder to where she knew the mystery man was laying. She hadn't wanted to say anything in front of the Clarkes, and she had her guesses, but she needed to know. "Vash," she asked over the rumble of the vehicle, "who is he really?"

Vash turned and looked out across the dessert through the cloud of dust kicked up by the jeep. For a long moment, Meryl didn't think he was going to answer. Finally, "I'll explain when we're some place quieter," he murmured.

Meryl nodded.

Wanting to keep things light, she smiled again. "Vash, we found water. Just before Millie spotted you, Christian hit water!"

He chuckled and plucked at her sleeve. "I wondered what was up. You're all soaking wet."

A little embarrassed, Meryl looked down at her soaked and mud splattered clothes. The four of them must be a real sight to see. Giving a small sniff, she turned her nose in the air. "Yes, well, in all of the excitement, appearances didn't seem to be the most pressing mater. When we left, people were still dancing in the street. In fact, I saw old Susan Krause doing a little jig outside the general store."

"No!" Vash gasped. "That I can't believe!" At her nod he laughed.

The ride back into town was short, and before long they were pulling up in front of their small rented home.

Vash was back.


	22. Amazing Journey

Meryl sighed at the pink stains on the bandage as she unwound it from around his arm. Vash could openly admit to himself that it hurt like hell, but the wound wasn't really a bad one. True, he may have made it worse by carrying Knives for three days across the desert. Nearly starving himself for a week hadn't been a good idea either. But still, his injury wasn't that serious. However, he wasn't going to point that out to Meryl. It was rather nice being fussed over.

Vash winced when she applied the antiseptic. It just wasn't right that something had to hurt you before it made you better. Seeing his reaction, Meryl murmured an apology before putting the cap on the bottle and setting it back on the coffee table.

"I really wish you would take better care of yourself." Meryl told him quietly. Picking up the gauze medical dressings, she began wrapping his arm back up. "The extra bandages were supposed to be a joke, you know." He smiled at her.

Meryl secured the end with a piece of medical tape and stepped back to inspect her work. She seemed satisfied, and began repacking the medical kit that she'd spread across the old coffee table.

Vash lay back on the old and fraying couch. He had slept for nearly ten hours after settling Knives in his room the night before, but it certainly hadn't felt like it. The small couch in the living room wasn't as comfortable as it looked. The poor thing was an ugly shade of mustard yellow, and after spending a night on it, Vash swore it didn't have a bit of padding in it anywhere.

Before letting him sleep last night, Meryl had insisted on an explanation as she changed their bandages. The process had been a lengthy one, as she insisted she didn't need help. She told him that she didn't want him reopening his own wound.

Vash sighed and closed his eyes. He still wasn't sure how he felt. It was both frustrating and a relief to not clean the injuries he'd given his brother.

There was a series of quick steps on the front porch, followed by a knock on the door. "I wonder who that could be." Meryl mused aloud as she stood and crossed the living room.

Opening his eyes, Vash looked out the window to see six pairs of excited eyes peering back at him. Smiling, he waved. Their little faces lit up as they waved back enthusiastically. He loved kids.

"Oh! Hello Kim." Vash turned his attention back to Meryl as she opened the door to Mrs. Clarke. In her hands was a large, worn pot. From the way she was holding it, the pot was quite heavy and full of something delicious. Or at least he hoped so.

"Good afternoon, Meryl." Mrs. Clarke shifted the pot in her hands and smiled. "I wasn't sure what I could do to help, but I thought a premade dinner might be nice. I know how hard you and Millie work."

Meryl seemed startled. "Kim, thank you so much, but I really can't accept this."

Mrs. Clarke continued smiling. "Meryl, I insist. I helped care for my grandfather when I was younger, so I understand how difficult it can be helping the sick and the injured." She raised the pot between them. "Please take it. It really isn't much."

Meryl hesitated only a moment more before stepping back with a smile. "Please, come in."

"There's one more thing." Mrs. Clarke hesitated and looked over that the kids still standing at the window. "They wanted to come as well. However, I told them we would ask for your permission first, and if you said yes, they're to be on their best behavior." She gave them a stern look and they all fell immediately at attention, doing their best to look sweet and innocent.

"Oh, well, I don't mind." Meryl turned to look at Vash. "How would you feel about some company?"

Vash sat back up on the couch. "I don't mind at all. I only ask that they keep their voices down." Both he and Meryl looked up at the ceiling. Just beyond was the bane of all human existence sleeping off his massive injuries. Vash had convinced Meryl that he had things under control, but really, he didn't have a clue. They really didn't want him waking up any time soon.

Coming back to herself, Meryl smiled at the kids. "You guys are welcome to come in for a while. Just be sure to keep your voices down." The group ran to the door, and Meryl let them in before leading Mrs. Clarke to the kitchen.

The gang of preteens swarmed around Vash. Zeke and Sawyer moved quick to take a seat next to him on the couch and Remmy took the armrest. The only girl, Nina, squirmed into his lap before he could say no. The other two found spots on the coffee table, pushing Meryl's medical kit to the floor.

"Vash! Vash! Did you really walk all the way across the desert?" Remmy asked in a loud stage whisper inches from Vash's ear.

Before he could answer, Nina was waving something in his face. "Look what I made you Mr. Vash! It's a crane!" He held out his hand, and sure enough a crumpled, pink paper crane was placed lightly on his palm.

"I caught you a lizard, Mr. Vash! Only, my mom made me release it. She said it wouldn't be a very nice gift." Andreus scowled. "She just doesn't understand. It was a real pretty one, too!"

Upset that he hadn't thought to bring anything, Sawyer jumped in and changed the subject. "Forget about gifts! Tell us what happened!"

"Yeah!" Remmy spoke in his ear again. The boy was trying to be quiet, but Vash was sure his ear was ringing. "Tell us what happened! I heard you got shot! Does it hurt bad?"

"Where's your coat, Mr. Vash? I always see you in your big red coat." Nina looked up at him through her dark bangs with wide eyes. "I remember Ms. Meryl working real hard on it!"

Vash couldn't answer all of their rapid fire questions at once. Holding up his hand, he asked for silence. "Ok, ok everybody. Remember, you need to keep your voices low." As the kids quieted down, Vash smiled. It wouldn't hurt to tell them something. He'd been traveling around the world long enough that there had to be an interesting story from one time or another.

"Well," Vash started, "I don't know if I've walked across the whole desert, but I know it sure feels like it!"

The kids were good listeners. They got excited and giggled at the right moments, and were always angry and indigent on his behalf. Little Remmy was especially good, his eyes never leaving Vash for a moment. Nina gasped and hid her face in her hands every time someone in the story pulled out a gun. Although Caelum never said a word, he wiggled in his seat with barely contained excitement every time there was mention of lost technology.

When the afternoon grew late and it was nearly time for dinner, Meryl and Mrs. Clarke came back from the kitchen. It was only after Vash promised they could come again for more stories that the kids finally allowed themselves to be herded out the door. Meryl and Vash watched through the window as the kids began making their ways home.

"You have quite the fan club." Meryl looked over at Vash with a wry grin. "I think you're afternoons were just booked for the foreseeable future."

Vash leaned back into the ugly yellow couch and smiled.


	23. Time to Waste

Hello happy people. This likely isn't important, but it's been bothering me, and I'd like to make it known that I own my chapter titles as much as I own Trigun. My ownership is nonexistent. All of the titles actually come from different songs. But don't read into too much; I really doubt the lyrics ever fit.

Please enjoy the chapter :)

* * *

><p>Millie sat at the kitchen table with a deck of cards, humming quietly to herself. The cards were new, showcasing a beautifully detailed picture in green on the back. She'd noticed Nina with a deck earlier that week while the kids were over. When she asked Nina where she got it, the little girl happily told her that Mrs. Krause was selling them down at the general store. How lucky was that? She couldn't remember how, but Millie had lost her last deck somewhere while they were traveling. It was probably in that big wind storm she and Meryl had been caught in a while back.<p>

Placing the king of spades on the top of its pile, Millie did a small victory dance in her chair; she didn't win very often and was happy when she did. Millie took her victories where she could. But it really was nice having a deck again. Maybe she could talk Vash into a few rounds of poker later. Or maybe a game of old maid.

Millie was on her eighth game of solitaire when Mr. Vash came back down stairs with an empty plate and cup. Looking up from her game, she smiled at him. "How is he doing?"

Mr. Vash sighed and he set the dishes in the sink. "Better. He's definitely getting better. Everyday I'm thankful and surprised that Meryl hasn't tried to smother him in his sleep yet."

Millie giggled as Vash turned the faucet on; the water hit the fork and sent it clattering across the plate. "You're funny, Mr. Vash. Even if Meryl was the type of person who'd do something like that, she wouldn't. She knows how much it would upset you." She began picking up the cards and shuffling them for a new game, still smiling. "I'm proud of her too. Mr. Knives can be a little difficult at times."

Mr. Vash didn't say anything as he washed the dishes. When they were dry and back in the cupboard, he took a seat at the table across from Millie. He quietly watched as she played through two games. As she laid the cards out in front of her for another round, she decided to fill the silence. "I hope Mr. Keith sends Meryl home with more of Ms. Tonaka's leftover cheese biscuits. They're really yummy."

Mr. Vash hummed and nodded his agreement.

Mr. Vash was often like this after he spent time upstairs with his brother. Millie wasn't sure what they talked about, but it couldn't be a pleasant topic. Mr. Vash was always troubled when he came back down. "Do you know how late Meryl works tonight?"

"It's Friday, right?"

Millie moved the two of hearts up to the ace and nodded.

"Well, that means the saloon will be busy, and clean up will take a while." Mr. Vash looked up at the clock on the kitchen wall with a frown. "My best guess is she won't be home until close to three. It'll be a few hours."

Flipping the three of hearts over, she placed it on the two of hearts and nodded again.

Vash slid his chair back and stretched his legs out under the table. Resting his folded hands in his lap, he continued to watch the game. "How are things going at the well?"

Millie moved the six of clubs to the seven of diamonds before answering. "Really well." She smiled at him. "It should be connected to the piping system and ready for use by the end of next week. It'll be a market weekend, so the Mayor is planning to have a festival."

That seemed to catch his interest. Mr. Vash smiled back at her. "That should be fun. After all of the trouble this town has had with their well, they could use some fun."

Millie nodded her agreement. She flipped through the cards in her hand one more time before admitting defeat. With a shrug she gathered the cards and began shuffling them. "Hey, Mr. Vash, would you be interested in a few rounds of poker?"


	24. Heaven Forbid

Millie was cleaning the dishes as Meryl finished making up the fourth plate of food. The girls had just finished eating lunch, and Meryl was getting ready to relieve Vash from his bedside duties. The kids would be over soon, and Vash would want to eat before they arrived.

Meryl set the plate on the silver serving tray, along with a full mug and silverware. When Keith and Tonaka found out she was helping another injured man, the Saloon owners insisted she take a tray to help with meal times. The number of leftovers sent home with her after her shifts had also increased. At first she had objected, saying it was too much, and that she didn't want to take advantage of them. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, Keith wouldn't take no for an answer.

They were lucky to have found this town. It was full of good people. If it had been any other town, things may have played out very differently a long time ago.

Picking up the tray with a sigh, Meryl turned and began making her way up the stairs. When she reached the landing, she knocked lightly on the door before entering. The room was dark and stuffy. They heavy shades on the window were pulled shut, blocking out the bright afternoon suns and the ceiling light was off, as it was used only in the mornings and evenings when she and Vash checked over Knives' injuries.

Vash was sitting slumped in the dining room chair they had set near Knives' bed. He spent most of his day there, only coming down for meals and to visit the children on the afternoons that they came over. When Meryl came home from work, she would check the living room couch, and often times it was empty. Millie told her that he usually spent some time with her in the evenings, but that didn't help Meryl; that was when she was at work.

Hearing her at the door, Vash looked up and offered her a smile. "Wow, is it lunch already?"

Meryl smiled in return and nodded. "Yes. There's a plate made up for you downstairs on the table."

Vash said his thanks before standing and offering her the chair. Then he turned to Knives with a big smile. "Ok, are you ready?" The man continued to stare up at the ceiling with a haughty indifference.

Meryl watched as Vash leaned over his brother and gently pulled him into a sitting position. He propped Knives up against the pillows and laid the thin blanket across his lap. When things were arranged the best they could be, Vash stood straight and said he'd be back soon.

When the bedroom door shut, his eyes still on the graying ceiling, Knives spoke. "What is it you presume to feed me today?"

Meryl bit back a nasty retort and set the tray down on the small bedside table. She sat down in the wooden chair Vash had just left and gave Knives a tight lipped smile. No, he was the patient. If she thought of him as a patient, he was easier to handle. When she thought of him as Knives, he fell somewhere between terrifying mass murderer and annoying prick who was trying to take over her house.

"Its dumplings and steamed vegetables."

He looked at the plate in her hand with disgust before forcing his haughty stare upon the ceiling once again. "That can barely be considered food" he snapped. "My brother swears that you're a chef in the making, but you've yet to feed me anything worthy of the title 'food'. I'm sure the local stable feeds their thomas' better than this."

Meryl bit her tongue nearly to the point of bleeding to keep from telling him just how happy she would be to pick him up a bag of grain. She slowly counted to five before stabbing a dumpling with her fork and offering it to him. Her patient. Her poor, injured patient.

Knives considered it a long moment before finally opening his mouth and allowing her to feed him.

She knew this was tearing him up inside. If she knew nothing else about him, Meryl knew he was a proud man. Being unable to do even the most basic task of feeding himself must be torture. Meryl tried not to, truly she did, but it was something she sympathized with.

The biggest blow to his pride was likely his dependency on humans. Vash had told her enough to know this. Although, even if he hadn't, she was sure she would have caught on after the fourteenth time he called her a pathetic human. If that hadn't worked, his second favorite name for her, worthless human, would likely have done the trick sooner or later.

They were quiet for a while, his lunch half finished, before he spoke again. "My sheets need to be changed." He said it quietly between bites of vegetable, so really it should have seemed harmless, pitiful, and maybe even comical. However, her patient made it feel dangerous to even entertain the thought of ignoring the 'request'.

At the moment, the worst he could do was continue his petty insults and ridiculous demands. Although, on the occasion that she did ignore him, he spent the afternoon creating so much noise that he'd scared away the kids and had the neighbors asking if everything was all right. Plus the man was sharp as a tack. Every day he reminded her that the only thing standing between her and death was Vash. Meryl liked to think that if she played along, then on the off chance that something terrible happened, he might make her death quick and painless.

It was both a morbid and a ridiculous thought, but Meryl couldn't help it.

So as she speared another dumpling on the fork, she nodded her head and said "of course. I'll do it tomorrow morning when Vash helps you to the bathroom."

He didn't seem wholly satisfied with her answer, but he didn't say anything more on it.

"Is the obnoxious human woman still around?" Meryl paused in stacking the dishes back on the tray and looked at her patient, confused. He smiled up at her, adopting a look of concern, but his eyes held nothing but malice. "I hope nothing has happened to her. She always looks so miserable."

Clearing her mind with a shake of her head, Meryl stood up with the tray. "No, Millie is still here and seems to be doing fine. Have a good afternoon." Turning on her heal, she walked to the door as quickly as she could without actually appearing to be in a hurry.

When she reached the landing, she closed the door behind her and took a deep breath. The air outside of his room always tasted so much cleaner.

Well, it seemed she needed to have a talk with Millie. It was a little funny; Meryl always figured that she'd be the one to snap. She never suspected it would be sweet, innocent Millie.

Seeing the tall girl at the kitchen table, Meryl set the tray near the sink and turned to talk to her. Hands on her hips, Meryl looked down her nose at the girl. "Millie, I need to ask you a question. Knives says he hasn't seen you in a few days. Is that true?"

Millie looked up from her game of solitaire with a smile. "Yup, it sure is!"

Meryl's mouth fell open. "But, but Millie! You can't starve him!" She dropped her voice to a whisper. "I know the man is a monster, but he needs breakfast too!"

Millie giggled. "Don't be silly. Mr. Vash feeds him breakfast."

Meryl brought her palm to her forehead with a light smack. Of course. If that wretched man was missing meals, he'd let the whole town know. Only, "wait, why is Vash on breakfast duty now? Not that it matters, or anything."

"Oh, Mr. Vash and I played poker the other night. He isn't very good at it." Turning back to her game, Millie flipped over the last card and giggled. "Look, Meryl! I won!"


	25. Draw the Line

Meryl set the plate of leftover chicken and rice from the night before onto the borrowed saloon tray. Alongside it she added a mug of juice, silverware, and napkins. Her hand hovered over the plate of brownies she'd made earlier that morning, but decided against it. She was still upset with Knives for the outrageous demands during yesterday's lunch. If he thought he was going to get anything extra like dessert, then he better ask nicely at dinner. She certainly wasn't going to be the one giving out such treats.

Taking a deep breath, Meryl mentally prepared herself for battle.


	26. On My Mind

Market day was going to be an impressive sight once it was in full swing. In fact, Vash didn't remember there being this many stalls at the other town market he'd been to. Today there were as many stalls selling toys, jewelry, and other frivolous oddities as there were cloth, ammunition, and general goods stalls. Plus there were the food vendors. He couldn't ignore the sweet, and the salty, and the frozen goodies being sold up and down the streets.

To be fair, it was also a festival day. The celebrations had started the night before with a big party at Keith's saloon. The small building quickly reached its maximum capacity, and patrons began milling about on the porch and in the street out front. The Sheriff had been called in to regulate the crowd and make sure nobody got out of hand, but it didn't last long. A friendly drunk bought Sheriff Gongora a beer as a thank you for all of his hard work, which only set the stage for other thankful and intoxicated patrons. This is not to say that people became rowdy as a result, but the deputy was called in by a concerned neighbor.

People from neighboring towns had also been pouring in that night. Every room in the town's small inn was booked. The 'No Vacancy' sign that sat quiet in the window had been replaced with a large, hastily painted wood sign that was tacked up on the front porch. To the frustration of the receptionist, this didn't seem to do much to discourage most travelers.

Many people also began setting up canvas tents outside of town. It was still early in the evening when a few men from the sheriff's office were sent out to organize the location of camps. It was necessary at a few points to defuse arguments over sites between tired and frustrated campers. However, boundaries were eventually settled, and Vash woke the next morning to a sea of tents and vehicles stretched around the southern end of town with still more people coming in.

The large cloth banners being put up all over town this morning were brightly colored and kept catching his eye. They hung heavily above the stalls and heads of shoppers between the buildings up and down Main Street. Most of them had been made by Emmalyn Dwyer in between working shifts in the family shop, and Vash had to admit that he was quite impressed with her work. Maybe he could commission her for a new coat?

Vash stepped to the side as a pair of men passed him with stepladders and a bright blue and orange banner. Watching them put it up, Vash saw that it was for the Thomas races being held on the North end of town later that morning. Andreus was sure to drag him out to a few of them; it was impossible to keep that kid away from animals. This reminded him, he'd promised the kids he'd go with them to the marksman tournament. They'd have all wanted to go that afternoon anyways, but Christian was competing, giving them all a familiar face to cheer for and an extra reason to go.

Vash moved up in line as another happy customer walked away with a brown bag of delicious, early morning doughnuts. Only one more person and it'd be his turn! He was so close he could almost taste the warm, melt in your mouth dough balls of bliss. Looking around again as he waited, he noticed a poster for a pie eating contest. Mrs. Tonaka Porter was putting it on in the poker tent behind the bar before the tournament started. Maybe he could talk the big girl into signing up for a few kicks and giggles?

"Next person step up. However, know that there will be a short wait as we fry the next batch. "

Smiling, Vash stepped up to the stall and leaned over the edge to watch the small gray haired woman at work. One by one she was taking rolled up balls of dough and dropping them into the pot of hot oil. "Good morning Abby. How is my favorite doughnut lady doing today?"

The woman glanced up from her work a moment before dropping in another ball. "I remember you," she burred. "You caused a bit of trouble a few markets ago before buying more doughnuts than any one person has a right to." She wiped her hands off on her apron and picked up her tongs to push the floating dough beneath the oil. "Where's your young girl this morning?"

Vash blinked. Young girl? He didn't have any kids. Or maybe she meant girlfriend? But he didn't have one of those either. Not that he wouldn't like to, it was just that the opportunity hadn't really presented itself. Or maybe she meant "Oh, do you mean Meryl?"

Abby shrugged her hunched shoulders. "I don't know the young ladies name. I remember she was a small little thing, and tried hard to cover for you obnoxious behavior the last time you were here. She also seemed as disgusted as I was by the number of doughnuts you bought."

Vash's face fell into a pitiful pout. "Hey, I shared! I had two other people to eat those with!" Really, he hadn't bought that many!

The old woman shrugged again and began straining the doughnuts from the oil. "That still doesn't justify buying four dozen doughnuts." She looked up at him from the corner of her eye. "You don't want that many again, do you?"

Smiling again, Vash waved his hand in front of himself and shook his head. "Oh, no, I have other things I need to pick up today. I'll only be getting three dozen."

Abby stared at him long and hard, her tongs hanging loosely at her side. Finally she took a deep breath and let it out on a long sigh. Shaking her head, she pushed the bag of doughnut holes to one side and told him "alright. It'll be a few more minutes. I can only make a dozen at a time."

"Hey," Vash gave her his best grin before leaning cross armed against the stall, "think of it as a good sale. I bet no one else buys this many doughnuts from you the rest of the day." Not looking up, Abby grumbled something under her breath. Vash couldn't quite hear, but it sounded like something about the number of doughnuts a normal person would order.

Vash passed the time making idle conversation with her. They discussed the events of the festival and the extra stalls come in from the neighboring towns. Apparently her grandson Benny was going to be competing in the Thomas races that morning, and was quite excited about it. Abby was worried about the fresh crepe stall at the end of the street. To this Vash assured her that her doughnut holes were some of the best he'd ever eaten, and there was no way some crepes were going to beat her out.

It was with a happy thanks and a wave that Vash picked up his doughnuts and made the short walk back to the house.

Settled comfortably into the chair on the front porch, Vash opened one of the bags and made short work of his first doughnut. Sweet merciful Heavens it was delicious! That old lady Abby sure knew how to make a good doughnut hole.

It was still early in the morning. Vash slowly made his way through a bag of fried dough as he watched the quiet town slowly wake up. More and more people were beginning their market shopping. Kids were congregating in small groups to plan their day and pooling their allowance money together to see if they had enough for both a new toy gun and candy. Young girls were coming out in their finest dresses and giggling to each other as they smiled at passing boys.

Behind him in the house he could hear the girls beginning their day. He could hear someone bumping around in the kitchen, and knew Meryl must be dressed and working on breakfast. She always started her morning with a cup of coffee. The bang of a door told him that Millie was up as well and starting her own morning routine. Now would be a good time to go inside. It'd been a long time since he'd shared a morning doughnut with Meryl.

"For how long do you think to play house like this, Vash? This ridiculous display is so delusional it's sickening."

Vash felt the grin he hadn't even realized he was wearing slide from his face. "Good morning, Knives."

His brother's voice was dark and cold in his mind. Despite the warm morning, he felt a shiver coming on. It was easy to imagine the sneer that must be on Knives face as he spoke to him. "How you eat those fried globs of fat is beyond me. If you continue in that fashion, you'll fall prey to death as the humans do all too soon"

It was true that Knives was healing. He was improving every day, leaving Vash hard pressed to hold him back. The one thing that hadn't really improved was his attitude. Or as Meryl might put it, his rotten, sadistic personality.

Things weren't going quite the way Vash had hoped. If he was to be painfully honest with himself, he was worried for the day Knives declared himself physically fit. Maybe Meryl was right, maybe he didn't plan enough. He'd never had any clear ideas about what he'd do once he had Knives. He'd just figured that the hard part would be facing him, and everything else would be downhill from there. For some reason he'd never expected this.

But he wasn't going to give up. His brother was in there somewhere, he knew it. This man that wandered the desert, pointlessly taking lives couldn't be all that was left of Knives. There had once been so much love and compassion. Now when they were close, all he could feel was hate.

Setting his worries aside for the moment, Vash chuckled. "You're probably right. Meryl tells me the same thing all the time." He stood from the chair and stretched. "Can I get you anything?"

Again Knives' cold voice slid into his mind. "Breakfast, if you think you can manage."

Even though he knew Knives couldn't see him, Vash nodded his head. "Of course, I'll be up in a little bit." After a moment's thought, he added "the festival is today. Do you want me to get you anything?" Vash wasn't absolutely sure, but he thought he heard his brother snort. Aside from that, there was no response.

Sighing, he picked up the last two paper bags. Yes, he'd bring Knives his breakfast, but first he was going to enjoy a few doughnuts with Meryl. Opening the door, he stepped inside to Meryl pouring herself a cup of coffee, just as he'd expected. "Good morning, Meryl!" he called across the house in a loud sing-song voice. Waving the bags above his head he grinned. "I've got doughnuts!"


	27. For the Girl

"Hey, I have an idea. What do you say the two of us ditch this lame ass festival. This piece of trash saloon is too small for people like us." The slick young man was leaning heavily against the bar, trapping the woman between him and it as he slid his hand up her thigh and under her skirt. His breath was hot on her check and reeked of alcohol. "I've got a real nice room at the inn here. Come on Sweetness, what do you say?"

The young woman leaned back on the stool as far as she could with a nervous laugh. "I'm really sorry. I'm sure it would be a lot of fun, but I'm waiting for some friends." Her dark eyes darted around the crowded saloon as she tried vainly to push away his hand.

Leaning back a little, the man looked around dramatically at the patrons laughing near them as well. Looking back at her, he gave her a very serious look as he leaned in close to her again. "I'm real sorry to say Sweetness, but I don't see your friends anywhere. And really, what kind of friends are they to keep you waiting like this? I tell you what." Leaning back, he clumsily took her hand, knocking her drink down her front in the process.

"I tell you what," he slurred again, "If your friends aren't here in the next few minutes, we make a quick trip to the inn. And if you don't find it to your liking," he shrugged. "Then we'll come back here real quick. And if your friends really do show up while we're gone, I don't think they'll ever even notice. What do you say, Sweetness?"

She was beginning to panic. Working hard to regain possession of her hand, she tried again. "I'm sorry, but I told you I can't. My friends are-"

"Right, right, your friends." The man growled.

She could see he was beginning to grow impatient, and struggled to hold back her tears.

"Excuse me, sir." Vash stood up from his stool at the bar and taped the young man's shoulder. "Maybe you couldn't hear her over this crowd, which I can completely understand as it is quite loud in here, but I think I heard the young lady say no."

The woman gave Vash a thankful smile over the drunk's shoulder. Happy to have been of help, Vash gave her a big grin in return.

Then without warning the drunk swung around at Vash with a heavy fist.

Reeling back from the impact of the drunk's fist to his face, Vash fell against the surprised crowd behind him. While trying to catch his balance, one of Vash's heavy boots hit the drunk solidly in the stomach, bending him over double with a howl of pain. With the help of a man behind him, Vash stood up straight again, and in doing so accidently brought his heel down heavily onto the soft leather boot covering the drunk's toes.

By the time Keith shoved his way through the mass of people circling the fight, Vash was apologizing with heartfelt sincerity for his clumsiness as three men held back the infuriated drunk. Nearby, the young woman was still sitting on her stool and sobbing uncontrollably. A kindly older woman was doing her best to sooth the girl, offering napkins to dry her front and patting her shoulder.

Meryl sighed and shook her head. It was the first fight of the festival, and of course Vash had to be a part of it. Why did these things always happen to her? Why was doing the right thing always so much work? All she wanted was a quick lunch before the tournament!

A few minutes later, after putting together the story from the still hysterical girl and a few helpful patrons, Keith kicked the drunk young man from his bar to a round of applause. Shortly after, Vash made his way back to where Meryl and Millie were sitting at the bar with a big grin and an even bigger mug of beer. "A gift for the hero!" he told them before knocking half of it back with a gulp. Then with a happy sigh, he leaned against the bar beside them.

The saloon really was packed. In the short time Meryl had worked there, she had never seen it this busy. So it was with an excited cry that Meryl pulled Vash and Millie along single file to an empty table, pushing past people and giving halfhearted apologies as she went. The table was tiny and wobbled on a loose leg, but Meryl was thankful for it anyways. They'd been standing at the bar for nearly twenty minutes, waiting for someone to leave.

Millie gave a happy cheer before carefully slipping into her chair. Meryl slid into her seat with a frown. After wiping the crumbs from her spot on the table, Meryl set her chin in her hand and watched Vash gingerly rub at his read and rapidly swelling cheek. Apparently the adrenaline from the fight was wearing off because he winced as he prodded a particularly tender spot. With a shrug, he lifted his large iced mug and rested it against his face.

"I really wish you hadn't done that." Meryl said over the noise of the crowd.

Glancing from behind his mug, Vash looked at her as if she'd just said she wanted to make waitressing her permanent occupation. "You don't honestly wish that I'd let that ruffian have his way with the lovely young lady, do you?"

Meryl waved him off with her free hand. "Oh, that's not it at all. The man was a pig and deserved what he got. I was wishing you had ducked like I know you can."

Vash gave her a sheepish grin before hiding behind his mug again.

"Oh, I don't know," Millie said thoughtfully. She was playing with one of the straw wrappers left on the table, folding it back and forth into an accordion. "After all, the man did sucker punch him."

Meryl just sighed and shook her head.

A rumpled young waitress carrying her serving tray tight to her chest slipped from the mass of the crowd and stopped at their table. Her dark hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail and her cheeks were flushed a deep red from the heat. Taking a deep breath, she turned a friendly smile on their table. "Well good afternoon. I can't honestly say that I'd expected to see you three today. I thought for sure Meryl would do everything within her power to stay away!"

Meryl sat up and rolled her eyes. "Jen, I don't hate this place that much. What I do hate are the insufferable drunks who lose all manners and treat women like toys."

Vash peeked around his mug again with a frown. "Hey, I like to drink, but I'm always a perfect gentleman."

Meryl sent him a mocking look from across the table. "Oh really? I've seen you drunk. You become the life of the party or the bar's personal Casanova. Either way I put you to bed with a bucket next to you after dragging your sorry butt back to your room." She leaned back and crossed her arms. "Besides, I wasn't really talking about you."

Jen nodded her head. "I understand. That's why Keith keeps such a close eye on all of his patrons. He doesn't tolerate any of that trash." Suddenly frowning, the young woman nervously shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "John is sorry, you know. He's not usually like that. He's been meaning to tell you himself, but he gets too embarrassed whenever he's in town."

Meryl smiled and waved her off. "That happened weeks ago and I'd nearly forgotten. Besides, John has been the least of the offenders."

Jen smiled, and a funny look crept into her eyes. "I still say he fancies you. He wouldn't leave you alone that night, and I've never seen my baby brother do that before."

Meryl blushed and laughed. "Oh, I'm sure-"

Everyone jumped as Vash brought his mug down with a crash, sending the old table wobbling dangerously back and forth. Meryl and Millie, along with a few of the closest patrons, stared at him in shock.

After an awkward moment, Vash's serious expression melted into his million watt smile. "Well hello, Jen. It's nice seeing you again. Do you think you could get my friends and me a few orders of burgers? An order of irish nachos would be good too. And maybe an order of Ms. Tanaka's world famous cheese biscuits? Our Millie here is quite fond of them."

With a nod and a happy smile, Jen quickly scratched down the order on a small pad of paper. After repeating the order back to Vash, she asked "is there anything else I can get you three?"

"Another beer, please!" Vash lifted his giant glass mug in a salute before tipping it back to drain the rest of his drink.

Pulling her disgusted look away from Vash, Meryl smiled up at her coworker. "I'll have a whiskey sour, please. And can you make it a double? I think I'm going to need it."

Nodding, Jen turned and looked at Millie, who was fidgeting in her seat with anticipation. "I'll have a fruit punch, please! And can I have one of those pretty little umbrellas in it? I'd really like a pink one!"

"Anything you want, sweetheart." Before disappearing back into the crowd with their orders, Jen paused a moment. "I don't know if you guys have heard, but we're taking over the poker tent tonight. I'm sure you'll all agree that things are a little crowded right now, so we've decided to close the bar early and move everything outside." She smiled. "It should be a lot of fun!"

The rest of lunch was rather uneventful. Millie finished most of the biscuits herself, leaving only one for Vash and Meryl a piece. Vash polished off two more beers on top of his free mug, and announced it was time to go after draining the last one.

Once again Meryl led them single file through the crowded saloon and out into the bright afternoon sun. However, they hadn't taken three steps off the saloon's porch before what sounded like the battle cry of a small army came charging at them. Meryl turned just in time to see five little boys tackle Vash to the ground as a little girl danced excitedly around them.

"Vash, you idiot!" Sawyer screamed as he pulled the blonds arm behind his back. "You've made us late for the tournament!"

"Yeah!" Remmy chimed in from his place on Vash's left leg. "We're gunna be late and miss out on the best seats!"

Vash let out a pitiful, high pitched scream. "It hurts! It hurts! It hurts! Insurance girls, a little help?"

Meryl quickly smothered a laugh behind her hand. "They are right, you know. If you hadn't ordered that last beer, we'd have been out here at least ten minutes ago."

Vash let out another scream as Andreus tried his best to pull an arm from its socket. He turned to his last hope. "Nina! Please! Call them off!"

The little girl put her hands on her hips and frowned. "You guys let him up right now! If we don't hurry, Jonas and his goonies are gunna take our spot! You all remember what happened the last time his gang was in town."

That seemed to do the trick. In an instant the boys were up and dragging Vash down the street towards the marksman tournament, begging him to move faster. Nina marched ahead of the group, barking out orders as needed. Trailing along at a safe distance behind the chaos, Meryl and Millie followed with smiles.


	28. Young At Heart

Meryl and Millie were sitting behind the large tournament crowd on a massive stack of crates. The crates were in a small patch of shade cast by the back of the Krause's General Goods Store, which was a big bonus; the late afternoon suns could be vicious. Every once in a while, old Susan Krause would come to the back door of her store with her usual sour expression to cheer the gunman on with them. One time she even came out with a small handful of hard candies to share.

The kids were right, it was a good spot.

There had nearly been a small scuffle over the spot just before the beginning of the tournament. A group of boys Meryl didn't recognize came over, obviously looking for trouble. Apparently their leader, Jonas, had it in for their little group of trouble makers over some past grievances. However, upon seeing Meryl, Vash, and Millie, the kids seemed to think better of a public confrontation. Shooting death glares and stink eyes at them as they went, Jonas and his gang had stomped off.

Of the fifty-two people to sign up, only ten were allowed to move on from the preliminaries and into the tournament. The kids had been delighted to see Christian make it into that top percentile. Also to make it from their town was Kote, the Saloon owner's son. Although this split alliances, the kids gave a big cheer for both as the participants walked onto the range.

The handgun portion of the tournament had competitors aiming at targets placed between five and thirty yards away. It was an exciting round, pulling everyone to the edge of their seats. At the end, of the three people in the lead, two of them were tied for first. Even better, it was Christian standing at the front of the pack. And there beside him was a bold young woman from one of the neighboring towns.

After the final shot of the tenth competitor, the judges sounded a loud alarm, signifying the end of the first round. Competitors were given a thirty minute intermission to rest and look over their equipment. This time was also used to reset the range. The second part of the tournament was for rifles; contestants would be skeet shooting. The targets were being brought in and the traps set in position.

Sawyer stood on his crate and stretched his hands over his head. Smiling, he turned to the other boys. "So, what do you guys say?"

It all happened in an instant, but for Meryl it played out as if in slow motion. She watched as Sawyer spun around on the balls of his feet and the boys jumped to their own. Vash turned his head to smile at them, but he froze instead in shock. Then Sawyer was in midair, hands stretched out before him and a wild look on his face.

And then man and boys together tumbled to the sand in a screaming, giggling mess.

"Hold tight, men!" Sawyer shouted as he clung to Vash's flailing arm. "Don't let him up!"The boys dutifully tightened their grip on whatever they could get a hold of. Sand kicked up around them, spraying the girls still on the crates. They were all doing very well until Vash gave a powerful shake that sent one boy bouncing across the ground.

"I'm sorry Captain!" Remmy cried after recovering from his face plant into the sand. "I couldn't hold on!"

That was all it took. Vash lost the rest of the boys with another shake and jumped to his feet gasping. Catching his breath, he spun around with a crazed look to the boys clambering back to their feet. "Geeze, think you could give a guy a warning? I mean come on!" Then quicker than Meryl could follow, he dove back in at them.

Zeke gave a high pitched squeal and began giggling uncontrollably. Vash had him by the wrists and was spinning him in a quick circle, keeping the older boys at bay.

Next to Meryl, Millie laughed and clapped her hands together. "Come on boys, you can do it! Take him down!"

"Yeah guys!" Nina yelled from a crate below the insurance girls. "Stop being such scaredy cats and get him!"

Sawyer glanced away from the fight and up at Nina with a glare. "Oh yeah, Nina? Then why don't you come down here and get him yourself?"

The small girl was suddenly sitting straight and proper on her crate corner. Carefully lifting one hand, she patted lightly at the bright pink bow holding back her dark curls. "My mommy got me this bow special for today. I need to be careful and keep it pretty so's not to make her sad."

Snorting, Sawyer turned his attention back to the problem at hand. But it wasn't before mumbling a "stupid girls" in a loud stage whisper.

Nina bristled and hopped up on her crate. "I heard that Sawyer! You take it back!"

However, the boys all ignored her in favor of keeping an eye on their target. Zeke's spinning was slowing down and so was his giggling. Instead, he was begging to be put down so he could keep his tummy inside. Suddenly coming to a stop, Vash held Zeke to him as a human shield and began backing up to the crates.

"All right boys, stay back, or the officer gets it" Vash threatened with a maniacal laugh. With one arm around the boy's middle to hold him still, Vash's other hand was in a fist and ready to deliver a devastating noogie.

At the sight of his impending doom, Zeke panicked and began squirming. With arms and legs flying every which way, he let out high pitched squeals begging for mercy. "No! Vash, no! Not a noogie!"The squirming seemed to work. Soon Vash was using both hands just to keep the poor kid under control.

Taking advantage of the sudden change in the situation, Sawyer called the boys to attention. "Now's our chance, men!" he shouted. "Get him!"

With a surprised yelp, Vash was once again tackled to the ground by a pack of screaming boys. "No, Captain! Not the arms! Please, have mercy!"

Nina and Millie bounced up and down with excited cheers, egging the boys on. Meryl just laughed and shook her head. That pin-head was having too much fun getting beat up like that. It was no wonder the kids loved him so much.

As Andreus pulled Vash into a tight choke hold to much cheering and great approval, Millie glanced over at Meryl from the corner of her eye. Leaning over to the smaller woman with a silly grin, Millie whispered in her ear. "So, have you told him yet?"

Still laughing and watching the fight below, Meryl whispered back, "Told who what?"

Lightly bumping Meryl's shoulder to get her attention, Millie gave the chaos before them a pointed look before smiling again. "You know. You did promise you would once he came back."

Suddenly embarrassed, Meryl looked away to the tournament score board across the range. To anywhere that wasn't the blond man in front of her. She could feel her cheeks burning up and thanked every deity known to mankind that she was already flushed from the hot afternoon. No one needed to see her blushing. "Uh, yes, well, I haven't really had the opportunity." She stuttered out. "He's got a lot on his plate right now, what with taking care of Knives and all."

Millie sighed and smiled fondly at her friend. "Oh Meryl."

Soon the crowd ahead of them began settling back into their seats and Meryl watched as the ten finalists lined up beside the judge's table once again. "Hey guys," she called down to the warring boys. "I think the second half is starting now."

As quick to pull apart as they were to jump him, the boys scrambled off of Vash and back to their seats atop the crates. Making his own way up the stack, Vash sat down beside Meryl with a dramatic sigh. He ran his fingers through his crushed hair and dusted sand from his white button-up. "Those kids are gunna be the death of me one of these days, I tell you what!"

"Oh please." Meryl smiled and leaned back on her hands. They watched as the first competitor stepped up for his turn. "You love it and you know it."

After the first three competitors, Christian walked out to the first spot on the arch from which the participants were shooting. So far the scores from the second half of the tournament held little worry for either of the leaders. Not far behind them, Jen's husband Kote was also sitting in a good position. It was still anyone's win.

"Come on dad!" Zeke shouted through his cupped hands. "You can do it!"

Beside him Sawyer was standing and cheering as well. "Come on dad! Show 'em what a real gunman can do!"

With a loud 'snick' the first clay pigeon was released. For the space of a breath, the crowd and all the world seemed to fall silent. Then the loud shot of Christian's rifle rang out across the crowd. Immediately after, the disk exploded with a sharp crack and fell to the ground in pieces. Christian began making his way around the arch, shooting down the clay disks as he went.

As his dad walked off the range at the end of his turn, Sawyer dropped back to his seat with a loud thud. "Man, he missed two that time!"

"See, I told you he wasn't gunna win." Andreus told him smugly. Beside him Caelum nodded his head.

Remmy was bouncing up and down in excitement. His face was nearly split in two with a big grin. "Yup. Our Uncle Kote is gunna win. Just you watch!"

"I don't know guys." Nina worried quietly in her seat. "That girl is pretty good too. What if she beats both your dad and our Uncle Kote?"

Sawyer shook his head defiantly. "Nu uh. It's not gunna happen. There is no way some silly girl is gunna beat my dad!"

Scowling, Nina punched him in the shoulder. "You're such a jerk, Sawyer! Girls can be good too!"

"Hey, watch it! You're lucky it's wrong to hit a girl!" Sawyer rubbed at his smarting shoulder with a scowl. "Be nice or I'm not gunna let you hang out with us anymore. You should be off playing with dollies right now anyways. You're afraid of guns!"

Millie chose that moment to intervene, pulling the two kids a safe distance apart. As the big girl worked to sooth Nina's tears and force Sawyer into an apology, Meryl leaned over and bumped her shoulder against Vash's. "So, Mr. Gunman, what's your professional opinion?"

Vash glanced down at her before looking back at the young woman getting ready on the range. "I don't know. Kote is good, but I think he spends too much time working with his dad at the saloon. He doesn't quite have that easy confidence with a gun." He shrugged. "It's really between Christian and this girl. It could go either way."

Meryl nodded. "I'm actually surprised Keith even let him out on such a busy day for the saloon. But I think it's a good thing. He and Jen need some afternoons together with little Kadence."

Vash hummed his agreement as the loud 'snick' of a clay disk being released cut across the range.

As Vash predicted, the real competition was between Christian and the pretty blond girl from out of town. At the end of the skeet shooting, the two were once again tied. After an intense round of double over time, the girl finally slipped, giving Christian both the lead and the win.

As soon as the scores were announced, Zeke and Sawyer were up and running to the winner's circle, whooping and cheering at the top of their lungs as they went. The other four followed them down from the crates not long after. They too added their voices to the loud cheers flooding the range.

The Clarke boys stood next to their mother in awe at the center of the winner's circle. After a short speech applauding his skills and perseverance, Christian was presented with his prize. A small medal was placed around his neck before he was handed a check for ten-thousand double dollars. Once again, the crowd broke into applause.

A little further down, the Motz and Wade kids stood with their families. They watched with excited grins as their Uncle Kote accepted the medal for third place. A final round of applause and cheering broke across the range for the three winners.

Standing, Millie stretched her arms over her head. "Well, that was fun. What do you guys say we give our congratulations before heading over to the beer tent? I heard someone say there's going to be a band tonight!"

Jumping down from the crates, Vash nodded his agreement. "Yup. But let's get some food before we hit the tent."

"You cannot possibly be hungry!" Meryl exclaimed as she followed them of the crates. "We ate a huge lunch like three hours ago."

Vash grinned and shrugged. "I like to make sure I don't drink on an empty stomach."


	29. Dreams

Old electric lamps were hanging from the ceiling of the large canvas tent, softly lighting the faces of the people enjoying the small haven they created against the late dusk. Desert nights were notorious for being as cold as the days were hot, but for most in town, that wouldn't be a problem tonight. Tossing a couple coins on the makeshift bar in the center of the tent, Vash picked up his giant beer mug with a thank you and turned to watch the crowd. For the hundreds of people lounging in and around the beer tent in tight, gossiping circles, large rowdy groups, intimate pairs sequestered in off-to-the-side tables, and occasional social butterflies flitting from one area to the next, the chill was barely acknowledged. With beer and liquor for anyone with coin, the people celebrating the festival's end were anything but cold.

Slowly, Vash's attention drifted to the large table near the tent's edge. His insurance girls were sitting with Jen and some of her family. At the moment, John was telling a story about a mishap during his latest circuit with the market caravan using sweeping, animated gestures. As their story teller fell back into his seat with a last dramatic wave of his hand, Millie fell in on herself, letting out loud peals of laughter that cut across the noise of the crowd. Beside her, Meryl hid a smile behind her hand, trying hard not to laugh.

"You know you can never have that." Knives' voice was cold as it slipped easily into Vash's mind.

Frowning, Vash took a drink of his beer, tearing his eyes away from the happy people laughing at the table. "What can't I have?"

The perverse enjoyment Knives was finding in harassing Vash became tinged with annoyance. "You know perfectly well what I mean. You spend all of your time stumbling around with your air of good natured idiocy just so these humans will accept you. But now look at you; you're standing alone at the bar, watching your greatest desire from a distance."

Vash sighed. "I really only got up for another drink."

"Then why do you hesitate to go back?"

Vash paused, unsure how to respond. Knives was right, he _had_ hesitated at the bar, reluctant to go back. In all of his time traveling, Vash had been to dozens of festivals similar to this one. Aside from a few special occasions, as there are always exceptions to the rule, Vash thoroughly enjoyed his time spent celebrating with people. This was especially true once he was a few drinks in. So what was it that made this one different?

Everyone was enjoying themselves, as far as he could tell. Meryl was actually drinking for a change. He'd also finally been given the chance to meet the parents and families of all the kids that regularly came to visit him. Vash and Millie even had the chance to play with little Kadence before Mr. and Mrs. Dwyer came and swept all of their grandchildren off to bed. The bubbly little girl had been wearing a bright pink bow to match her older cousins, and did so with pride.

But something had also been bothering him the same way a crooked picture frame on a wall might bother the eye. So far that night, John had paid extra attention to Meryl, making her smile with outrageous stories and making certain her cup was never empty. What really bothered Vash was that any of this bothered him at all. It was just like earlier that afternoon when he had slammed his mug on the table during lunch, causing a ridiculous and unintended scene.

What was wrong with him? What did it matter if John was interested in Meryl? He seemed to be a good man. In fact, it would be good for Meryl to hit it off with someone. He knew Meryl considered him something like a friend; how else could he explain all of the help she had recently given him? And Vash cared enough that he looked out for her and wished her nothing but the best. So why was it he couldn't be happy for her now?

Vash felt Knives' happy sigh and mocking amusement coming at him in waves. "Oh poor, poor Vash. You don't understand, do you? You can't have her anymore than you can have the human life you so erroneously wish for, and that is what's troubling you. You're a plant, a superior being. The sooner you accept this, the easier life will be for you."

Vash ignored Knives' comment on superiority; it was an old and tired argument they could run in circles with for hours when they chose to. The trick was to remain focused. "What are you talking about? Who is 'Her'? Do you mean Rem?"

Again Knives radiated annoyance. "Now you're being deliberately stupid. It's no wonder the dark-haired one is always frustrated with you. And yet I've seen the lengths to which that human woman goes to for you, and it is alarmingly pathetic." Knives paused, and Vash could feel the smug enjoyment returning to his brother. "I've also seen how far _you'll_ go for her."

Legato.

Vash tipped his head back and drained what remained of his drink. That was not what he wanted to think about right now. Tonight was for celebrations, not guilt and self abuse.

"I see I've hit a nerve" Knives cooed. "How transparent you really are, brother. Your motives have always been so simple. And yet, I know you're better than this; we are superior to these wretched humans in every way. If we erase these pests from our planet, we erase the pain.

"If you help me, I may even consider rethinking our relationship. I may forgive all of the pain you have caused me over the years. We could bury the hatchet, as it were."

Vash held back a growl as he glared daggers into his mug. "You know where I stand on this, Knives. You also know that it's wrong to even think it."

Knives laughed. It was deep, and rich, and filled every corner of Vash's mind with ice. "Oh you poor delusional man. Think whatever will let you sleep tonight. But remember, these humans will never accept what you really are."

Vash sat brooding; staring at the amber liquid pooled at the bottom of his mug for some time after Knives left him. All around, people continued their conversations and drinks, blissfully unaware of the danger living in their town. At the north end of the tent, the band was setting up on the crude platform constructed for the night, tuning their instruments and balancing the sound. Behind him Keith and Kote were finishing hauling a new keg from the saloon's cellar and tossing the now empty one to the side and out of the way.

After some time, Vash felt a small hand rest on his mechanical arm. Startled, he looked up to see Meryl beside him. She stood with her head tilted slightly to one side, looking at him with concern. Adopting his goofy persona on reflex, he smiled down at her. "Hey, insurance girl!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing over here? I thought you had a full drink?"

Meryl frowned. "I did, but that was over twenty minutes ago. What are _you_ doing over here? Are you ok?"

Vash laughed."Of course I am! What could possibly be wrong on such a beautiful night?"

Her small hand tightened its grip on his arm. "Please, I'm serious." Her concern was so honest it made him pause. "You disappeared for nearly half an hour, and then I find you shooting death glares to the bottom of your empty mug. What's wrong?"

Vash shook his head and gave her a sad smile. "It's nothing important. Don't worry about it."

Still frowning, she let her hand fall back to her side. "You shouldn't let Knives get to you. I've yet to hear him say anything worth listening to."

Vash stared at her in shock. "How did you know?"

Meryl shrugged. "Oh, I don't know. You had the same look you have when you come down stairs after sitting with him. It was really just a guess."

Perplexed, Vash just looked at her. How well did his little dark-haired insurance girl know him?

Knocking back the last swig of his beer, Vash smiled down at her. "Can I get you a drink?"

One of Meryl's eyebrows disappeared into her bangs. "I was pleasantly surprised this morning when you bought the groceries. This afternoon my jaw nearly hit the floor when you paid for lunch. Now you're buying me a drink." She frowned and put her hands on her hips. "What are you hiding, Mr. Vash the Stampede? And where exactly are you getting all of this money?"

Flashing her a cheeky grin, Vash pulled her up to the bar beside him. "A man's gotta have a few secrets to himself! And you drink whiskey right? How about a Highball or a New York Cocktail?" Leaning across the bar, Vash waved to get Kote's attention.

As they waited for Kote to finish handing off a round of drinks to a waitress, Meryl bumped her elbow into Vash's side. "Although I'd have a hard time believing it, I better not find out you're doing something illegal."

Vash brought a hand to his heart with a dramatic sigh. "You're lack of trust wounds me."

Meryl snorted and patted his arm. "Yeah, sure it does."

Wiping his hands off on a rag, Kote walked down to their part of the bar. "Hey, guys. What can I get you?"

"I'll have another large beer, if you don't mind, and the little lady here," Vash said with a tip of his head in Meryl's direction "would like a highball."

"No problem," Kote said with a smile. "I'll have that for you in just a second."

As Vash pulled out money to pay for their drinks, his fingers brushed against the small box in his pocket. He'd been so busy all day with the kids and the festival that he'd nearly forgotten about it. Before Meryl could turn to leave, he reached out and touched her shoulder. "Just a second, I've got something for you."

Meryl set her drink back down with a suspicious look. "What is it?" she asked him with narrowed eyes. "It better not be anything bad. I was rather hoping to avoid a headache tonight."

"I think you'll like it. At least I hope you do. It was a bit of an impulse buy." Vash said with a laugh. Fishing it out of his pocket, he handed her a small white box. "It isn't much, but I wanted to say thank you. You and Millie have done a lot for me, and I don't feel I've done enough to show my gratitude. I've been trying to make up for that today."

With a look between shock and nervous skepticism, Meryl gingerly reached out and took the box from his hand. "What is it?" she murmured.

"Just open it."

The box jingled as she gently shook it to slide the top off. Vash watched as she set the lid aside on the bar and pushed back the colorful tissue paper. He felt himself grin when she gasped. "Vash! This is beautiful! Where did you get it?"

Inside the box was a delicate gold watch. The quartz face protecting the tiny black hands gleamed in the tent's dim light. The band was made from hundreds of tiny links hooked closely together, leaving it smooth to the touch.

"I saw you looking at it this morning in the market. I thought it would match well." Still smiling, Vash reached out and gently tapped one of her gold earrings. "Did I do good?"

Meryl seemed incapable of taking her eyes away from the box. She frowned at it as if she wasn't quite sure what to do with it. "Vash, this watch was so expensive. Buying it has to be one of the most irresponsible things you have ever done! What were you thinking? There is no way you could possibly afford this!"

As Meryl continued to frown at the small white box and its glittering treasure, Vash's smile slowly began to fade. "It's ok. I understand if you don't want it. I remember who sold it to me, and there's a chance that he'll let me – "

The words were knocked from his lips as Meryl launched herself at him and wrapped her arms around tight. For a moment he stood stunned, looking down at the top of her dark head. Her cheek was pressed against his chest, barely missing the metal grate.

"Idiot," she mumbled. "I love it." Turning her head, she buried her face in his cotton shirt, making it nearly impossible to understand her. "I don't usually do this hugging stuff, but I've had a few drinks, so you'll just have to deal."

Smiling again, Vash wrapped his arms around her tiny shoulders. He sometimes forgot how small she really was. She carried herself with such confidence and certainty, it was sometimes difficult to look past and see _her_. "I think I can handle a hug. I won't catch fire, or anything."

"Good," she nodded. "I hope not."

After a moment, Meryl pulled back and took the watch from its box. Between the two of them, they managed the tiny clasp, securing it around Meryl's wrist. With another murmured thank you, Meryl grabbed her drink and walked back to the table, smiling. Following close behind her, Vash saw the funny look pass between Meryl and Millie. Across from them, John was looking morosely into his drink.

"Hey, don't worry about it," Jen put a hand on John's arm with a smile. "You win some, you lose some."

Before Vash could ask what they were talking about, the band started its first set, affectively drowning out all conversations. Milo, one of Jen's brother in laws, was the band's drummer, and the whole table erupted into earsplitting whistles and applause. Looking at the people around him, Vash smiled.

Knives was wrong; he could make a life here.


	30. The Good Life

AN: First and foremost I would like to extend my most sincere apologies to all of the lovely people who have been waiting for this chapter. I had started writing this with every intention of having it posted by May 13, for what I hope are obvious reasons, (if they're not, I apologize for that as well) but due to uncontrollable outside forces, (laziness) I failed to meet this deadline.

I would also like to tell you about the link I have posted on my profile page. There will be a small amount of effort on your part as you will have to copy and paste the link for I am a fail at link creating. I know it will be difficult, but I have the utmost faith in you all.

Anyways, the important part of this AN (at least in my humble opinion) is where this link will take you. I've realized that I have failed as an author, and that my descriptions of characters are essentially nonexistent. In an attempt to remedy this, I have taken the time to sketch out quick doodles of all of the kids (and some never mentioned) thus far in For Luck. If my pictures make any attempts at burning your eyes out, then please by all means quickly scroll down to the description section. Here you may both rest your eyes and look over the short background I typed up for all the characters mentioned in my drawing disaster.

Because all things come in threes, I will offer you one last apology. This one is for anyone who saw this AN and thought TL;DR. It is also for anyone who read through it and now wish that they could take back the lost moment of their life (which they sadly cannot).

And so I wait with baited breath for any and all responses from you lovely readers. Until then I am forever and always,

Ct

"Thank you so much for watching our boys for us today. I know that they sneak over here most afternoons as it is, and I really didn't mean to add to it."

Meryl smiled as she leaned against one of the wooden support beams on the front porch. Kim looked tired. Her hair was beginning to come loose from its braid and everything from her slim face to her long skirt was covered in a layer of dust and sand. Vash had been stationary for so long now that Meryl had nearly forgotten how hard traveling was on a body. "It was no problem at all. You're family is always welcome here. I'm assuming that everything went well?"

"Oh yes, the sand was clear as far as the eye could see both there and back." Kim paused a moment with a frown. "However, we did hear rumors of a small gang when we arrived in the city. It was said that they've been building a name for themselves in the area over the past few months. Chris drove all the way home with his gun on the seat between us just in case."

Frowning, Meryl worried at the watch on her wrist. She really didn't feel up to combating idiots right now. There was already enough on her plate just from juggling two jobs, keeping house, and figuring out what exactly was going on between her and Vash. Or maybe that was the answer? If anyone suspicious was spotted nearby, she could send her super hero out to take care of it! And maybe if Knives was feeling well enough and a little less keen on homicide when they showed up, he could join Vash in a tag team attack!

Wait, wait, wait, wait, rewind. What the hell was she just thinking? Jen must have bumped her on the head with that tray a lot harder than she thought last night. There was no way that was ever going to work. Ever.

Kim sighed. "Let's hope that rumor is all it is. I'd hate to see them here. I'm not sure what we'd do."

Nodding, Meryl jumped to steer the conversation to more pleasant grounds. "So, how does it feel to officially be a home owner? You two seemed very excited to make this trip out to the main branch of the bank today."

Kim laughed. "It's actually quite nice. For over a year now we have been struggling to pay rent every month, but winning the marksman tournament has changed that. The house is ours now." Although her words were happy ones, her expressive face betrayed her. Kim's smile was sad as she looked across the street to her house. Christian was hauling things inside from their jeep, and when he saw her watching he waved.

"It was nice being in the city again." Kim whispered as she waved back. "I know this is where we want to be and I do enjoy living here, but it was nice being amongst familiar things and places." Turning, she gave her sad smile to Meryl. "Maybe I shouldn't tell you this, but I'm rather jealous of you. You have only been here a few months, and yet you all seem so comfortable here. It almost seems as if our times here have been switched."

For a moment Meryl wasn't sure what to say. She could hardly ever remember a time where someone was jealous of her. She was always the one taking on the projects that no one ever wanted, so there was often shock or gratitude, but never jealousy. Jealousy was for talented people, beautiful women, or men with money. Not for her. She wasn't any of those things.

Meryl just smiled. "I'm sure you'll find your place here. This is actually the longest we have stayed in a town in a very long time, so settling in new places is rather common for us. I guess you just learn to make home where you are."

Standing straight again, Meryl stepped over the squeaky board on the porch and opened the front door. "Please come in. It's a little cooler inside, and I believe the boys have a surprise for you. They've been working hard all afternoon." Smiling for real now, Kim followed Meryl out of the sun and into the house.

The house was absolutely silent. Both boys were leaning over pieces of paper at the kitchen table with serious faces. Stacks of paper were spread across the table with still more in crumpled balls and airplanes across the floor. Pens and pencils in a dozen different colors were scattered between them on the table. Also sitting with them was Vash. He too had his own sheet of paper and was hard at work on his own project.

Upon seeing their mother, Zeke and Sawyer jumped up with big grins. Kim stumbled back a step with a surprised laugh as her boys vied for attention, both waving their projects over their heads and explaining what they had made to her in excited voices. The young mother kneeled down for a better look at her gifts, smiling. Meryl couldn't remember seeing her happier.

Zeke gave Meryl and Vash quick hugs as Sawyer scooped up his last cookie from the table before they ran back to their mother. Having exchanged happy goodbyes, the Clarke family started for home, chatting happily about their day as they went. Kim paused a moment more at the door with her hand on the handle to offer one last heartfelt thank you before continuing out into the sun.

As the door banged shut behind them, Meryl began cleaning up the evidence of their afternoon from the kitchen table. When she made her way through the sea of origami and rejected projects to where Vash had been sitting, she was surprised to find a picture carefully drawn out and detailed. It was of a field bordered on one side by a wood fence and trees like the ones they had seen outside of Promontory on another. Grazing peacefully in between was a herd of thomas.

"Vash, is there anything you can't do?" Meryl asked in awe.

Turning away from the counter with a cookie in his mouth, the tall blond walked over to the table and peered over her shoulder. "Well," he mumbled around his bite of cookie, "I can't fly. I've also been told that I can't drive a car or ride a thomas either. Why? Do you like it?"

Still looking at the drawing in her hand, Meryl nodded. "Yes, it's very good." She then looked up at him with a wry smile. "And all afternoon I thought I was just entertaining Zeke and Sawyer. Should I leave paper and pens out on the table from now on?"

Vash shrugged and went back for another cookie. "Only if you have extras."

Meryl finished cleaning the kitchen and started working on dinner while Vash wandered back upstairs to sit with Knives. Meryl had a shift at the saloon that night and wouldn't be able to eat with everyone when dinner was ready. Instead she sat down with a quick sandwich and looked again at Vash's picture. Maybe someday she could visit that family again in Promontory. It would be nice to see how they were doing.

Meryl heard the squeak of the front porch's loose board and looked up in time to see Millie open the door. "Good afternoon Meryl. Is it dinner time already?"

Meryl shook her heard no as she quickly swallowed her bite. "No, but it's almost done. You'll have to watch it a bit after I leave for work."

"Oh, ok" Millie nodded. The tall girl stood quietly next to the table for a long moment. Meryl was beginning to worry about her when she spoke again. "Do you think I could talk to you after you get home tonight?"

"You do know that I'm a closer tonight, right? I won't be home until very late."

Again, Millie nodded. "Oh yes, I know. I understand if you're tired and don't want to, but it would be nice if you could."

Something was wrong. Meryl wasn't sure what it was, but she was sure she would find out after work. This somber mood wasn't like Millie at all. "Of course. As soon as I change out of my work clothes tonight, I'm all yours."


	31. Saturday Night

It was getting late.

The clock on the dining room wall said it was a little after midnight when Millie decided it was time for bed. After locking the doors and changing into her pajamas, she turned off the lights and stepped into her shared bedroom, closing the door behind her with a soft click. Since then Millie had spent an hour, maybe a little longer, sitting on her tiny bed with her back against the wall. She held her pillow cuddled in her lap, her fingers worrying at one corner, as she stared out the tiny window above the bedside table.

The night outside was dark. The neighbors had long since gone to bed, shuttering the windows and turning out their lights. The three smallest moons were just slivers in the sky, hardly offering any light to the night. Millie thought back to her time in grade school as she watched the fourth moon's slow ascent into the sky, trying and failing to recall the lessons on the satellites orbiting her planet. She knew they each had a name of their own, but couldn't for the life of her remember what they were.

Being in the phase of the new moon, the fifth wouldn't be seen tonight, choosing instead to remain hidden in the vast black of the night sky. Largest of the moons, Vash had unwillingly brought it into eternal infamy when he shot a hole into its cratered face. That was nearly a year and a half ago.

Had it really been that long?

Vash was currently stretched out on their tiny mustard yellow couch. Millie had heard him quietly make his way downstairs for bed shortly after she had decided to turn in for the night herself. She knew neither he nor Meryl cared much for the old thing, but Millie was rather fond of it. Its quirky color brought a little character to the otherwise drab living room.

Stretching her arms over her head, Millie released a happy sigh.

The mood around the house had been growing into something lighter and almost like pleasant since the festival. Millie had a hunch that the delicate gold watch around Meryl's wrist had something to do with it. It was removed only for showers and shifts at the saloon, and during these times sat safely placed in the bedside table drawer, nestled in the colorful tissue of the box it had come in.

Millie Smiled. It was good to see Meryl so happy. The young woman worked so hard and hardly ever took time to do something for herself. Maybe this was just what she needed.

Other changes were quietly taking shape around the house. Wandering around the early morning market of the festival, Millie had stumbled across a small chess board with matching pieces. Seeing her interest, the old, silver haired man running the novelty stall had tried talking her into one of his more intricate sets. He insisted a beautiful young lady should only surround herself with things just as lovely, but Millie had been taken by the simple set sitting half hidden between a large music box and a brightly colored top. It had been created to look as if it was made of wood, with the pieces and squares a light blond or rich, dark mahogany. Eventually the man relented, and Millie happily made her way home with her new purchase swinging in a bag at her side.

Even though he didn't say it, she knew Knives was happy to have the chess set. Too excited to wait for long, Millie had taken Meryl's place at lunch the next day and showed it to him as soon as he had finished eating. Much of his strength had returned to him over the weeks. He could feed himself now and would occasionally sit at the small table in his room. He still needed help getting a drink from his kitchenette or crossing the room to use the bathroom, but Millie was pleased to see him healing so well.

Before their first match, Knives had insisted that no one in town could possibly be a worthy opponent, let alone her. But just like the old man who sold her the set, Knives finally relented and accepted her challenge. Hours passed, and the kids came and went. Vash was coming up stairs with dinner in hand when Knives gave a triumphant laugh and knocked her now defenseless blond king to its side with his queen.

It had been a good game. Millie didn't mourn the loss. Instead she had challenged him every afternoon since, determined to earn a win of her own. Knives was cold and snarky during every match, and still insisted his lights be off at all times, but Millie could see the difference. He appeared a little more at his ease when they played. He even let her open his windows a crack yesterday to freshen his stuffy room, and contained himself to only one threat on her life.

Progress was progress, even if it insisted on taking tiny baby steps.

Vash and Knives played once in a while as well. Millie was sure it was nice to have something to do while they talked. Sometimes words just aren't enough or are what get in the way, and really all that's needed is the time together.

For the first time in a long while, Vash came downstairs that afternoon smiling. About what, she didn't know, but did it really matter?

A soft giggle bubbled out of Millie and she quickly brought her hand over her smiling lips to stifle the sound. It wouldn't do to wake everyone so late at night, but it was such a funny thought!

What would Nicholas say about all of them living together like this? To Vash and Knives sitting together, playing a quiet game of chess in the evenings? To a town housing both The Humanoid Typhoon and his brother without exploding into millions of pieces in a fiery, thundering blaze of chaos and madness?

He wouldn't believe it. He'd scoff at the very idea. More than likely there would be some sort of dark, and yet immensely accurate, comment on it all before he walked away, muttering about ridiculous, dreaming fools, a cigarette hanging precariously from one corner of his mouth as he went.

Touching a damp spot, Millie looked down at the pillow in her lap, startled. She closed her eyes tight and gave her head a gentle shake as she took a deep, trembling breath. Then letting it out in a soft whoosh, Millie wiped the back of one hand across her cheek. She turned the pillow around, her fingers seeking out a fresh corner of the pillowcase to worry. Raising her head with a soft, sad sigh, Millie looked again out the window.

Some time later, Millie was again startled from her thoughts. But this time was by the sound of the front door softly opening and closing in the other room. Meryl was home from work. Millie had been preparing for this moment for days, and now that it was here, she wasn't so sure of it anymore. This was going to make it real. Really real.

As she waited, Millie's grip on her pillow tightened. Soft murmurs of a quiet conversation drifted to her from the living room. Footsteps making their way back to the bedroom paused in the kitchen, and Millie heard the icebox door open and close. Mrs. Porter must have sent home more cheese biscuits. Millie smiled at the thought of tomorrow's lunch, but it quickly faltered at the sound of Meryl's hand on the bedroom door.

Millie could just make out her silhouette in the dark as the tired young woman shuffled into the room. Meryl brought with her the sweet, smoky smell of beer and the saloon, perfuming the air around her with it. As she crossed to her bed, she lobbed her apron at the clothes hamper in the corner and began unbuttoning her blouse.

"Welcome home, Meryl," Millie whispered. "How was work?"

Meryl gasped and spun around on heels, her hand over her heart. "Millie! I didn't think you'd still be up! I'm so used to you being asleep when I get home!"

Unable to help herself, Millie giggled. Meryl's shock was just too funny. In fact, it was absurdly so!

Knowing she wouldn't be able to stop, Millie quickly buried her face in her pillow, trying hard to keep quiet. But it was just too much, and she began gasping for air in giddy gulps as she tried to reign in her amusement. The nervous energy from the day had finally found an outlet in the peals of laughter that she muffled in her pillow, and she could feel the muscles in her back and neck relax and the nervous knot her tummy finally settle.

Feeling like she was back in control of herself, Millie lifted her smiling face from her pillow and took a deep breath. When she caught sight of Meryl still standing at the foot of her bed, looking at her strangely, Millie realized that no, she did not have control, and smothered another bark of laughter in her pillow.

Meryl shook her head with a smile of her own and finished changing into her pajamas. "Really Millie, it wasn't that funny."

"Oh, but it was!" Millie gasped out between muffled giggles. "The look on your face! Oh, I needed this laugh." She pulled back from her pillow and leaned against the wall behind her again, her head hitting it with a heavy thud. Taking deep, steadying breaths, she smiled. "Thank you so much Meryl. That was just too funny!"

It was time for the inevitable talk, and Millie could see that Meryl was ready. The short insurance girl turned on the small lamp that sat on the bedside table and took a seat at the head of her own bed. Holding her pillow in a similar fashion to Millie, Meryl turned to her with expectant eyes. "So, what is it you need to talk about?"

Fear and nervousness fought to take over her again, but Millie shook it off. There was no sense in being afraid. No matter what happened, things would work out in the end. And it was silly to think Meryl would be angry with her. Right?

Taking a deep breath, Millie smiled at Meryl. "Well, I went to see Doctor Panessidi today."

Concern crashed across Meryl's face at this, and she slid to the edge of her bed. "What for? Is everything all right?"

"I," Millie took a deep breath as she clung tightly to her pillow. "Meryl I'm pregnant."

Meryl froze to the edge of her bed. Her grasp tightened around her pillow, and Millie's stressed and panicked brain irrationally feared for its survival as she waited for a response. Suddenly Meryl smiled. Dropping her pillow on the bed, she cleared that gap between them and pulled Millie into a hug.

"Congratulations! I've always thought you'd be a great mother." Meryl exclaimed. "You're always wonderful kids, no matter where we go." Pulling back as suddenly as she had formed the embrace, Meryl smiled down at her. "How far along are you? I'm assuming it's Woolfwood's. That must be about three months now."

Millie didn't know why, but she suddenly couldn't take it anymore. She'd hoped that the hysterical laughter from earlier had relaxed her nerves, but apparently not. Instead she found herself immersed in a thick blanket of misery, loneliness, and fear, and couldn't help the tears flowing down her cheeks.

"Oh Meryl, I really am very excited. I've always wanted to be a mother, but," a sob interrupted her, and she shook her head sadly. Looking down, she placed a protective hand across her belly. "I don't know if I can stay with you and Mr. Vash much longer." She whispered. "I absolutely hate the idea of leaving all of you, but I can't ignore the fact that scary things do happen to Vash sometimes, and I would hate for anything to happen to this little one."

Meryl sat down beside her friend and placed a hand on top of the one resting protectively over Millie's belly. When the nervous young mother looked up at her, Meryl smiled. "Millie, this isn't about me. Nor is this about Vash or Knives. This is about you and your unborn child. You need to do what is right for you, and if that means going home to where you'll be safe and surrounded by your amazing, supportive family, then that's what you should do."

Millie gave a watery smile and wiped at her eyes with the heel of her free hand. "Thank you Meryl. I really needed to hear that."

Meryl nodded, squeezing her hand. "And don't worry about us. We'll make it work. You know I can hold down the fort until the person who so arrogantly thinks they're good enough to take your place arrives." Millie gave a little giggle at that. Feeling safe that the worst of the storm had passed, she gave Millie's hand another squeeze before letting go.

Sliding over so Millie had space to compose herself, yet still remaining close, Meryl tucked her legs back and leaned her shoulder against the wall. Her own mind racing an ile a minute with the news, Meryl decided to use the time to organize her own thoughts into some sense of order. Since meeting Vash, she'd started learning how to expect the unexpected, but of all the scenarios that had played out in her mind at work tonight, this one never occurred to her.

"Millie," Meryl whispered to catch her attention. Putting as much seriousness and affection for her friend as she could muster into her voice, she gave her another encouraging smile. "Just remember that we all love you, and if there is anything you need, please know that we'll do everything within our powers for you. If there is anything you need, just name it."

Millie's lower lip began to quiver again before she tackled Meryl to the bed with a hug, repeating thank yous over and over again between fresh, happy tears.


	32. Ask DNA

Vash scratched the back of his neck and leaned forward, suspending a determined pout above his lonely, and soon to be captured, king, so that his nose was only inches above the red and blond board spread out across the small kitchen table. He'd been alternating between this position of close inspection and one that allowed a broader view from behind his chair for well over five minutes, and appeared to be no closer to a decision than when his turn had begun. Time slowly ticked by in the dim, stuffy upstairs apartment.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Knives sighed. A game of chess with Vash always managed to give him a headache. Yes it was a game meant to be played slowly with thoughtful and well planned moves, but this was ludicrous. "Breathing down the neck of your defenseless king like an irate thomas will by no means provide the miracle you are searching for. Give it up."

When this did little to pull an action out of Vash, Knives sighed again and set his chin lightly in the palm of his upturned hand. "Have you ever heard the phrase 'think long, think wrong'?"

Giving his head a decisive nod, Vash sat up straight and moved his knight in front of his king, a proud smile pulled across his face as he did.

A predatory smile of his own touched Knives' lips as he reached to move his red bishop across the board. "Finally," he said as he knocked the blond king to his side. "Vash, you may have the advantage in a gun fight, but this is my territory. I far outstrip you in mental prowess." Knives leaned back in his hard kitchen chair smiling, happy the game was over. "You'll never beat me."

Vash sat gaping at the board, his hands limp in his lap and his mouth creating strange shapes as his mind fought to form coherent words. "Again? And just because I've yet to beat you in a game of chess does not mean that you're my intellectual superior!" He sat back and glared across the board at Knives. "I'm more than good at strategizing and coming up with plans on the fly. This just means that I'm no good at chess."

It was difficult for Knives to hold back a scoff at that. "Really, Vash, listen to yourself! What is chess to you if not strategizing and planning as you struggle to remain at least one if not two or three steps ahead of your opponent? I'd like to know."

"This past week has been the first time I've played chess in a very long time." Vash grumbled. "In fact, I can't remember playing since we were kids on the ship."

"Be that as it may, little brother, I still feel that after a week of playing, you would be at the very least a challenge. The tall, obnoxious woman plays better than you, and she is nothing but a filthy, under-evolved human whore." Knives crossed his arms over his chest. "Now what's your excuse?"

The lanky blond grew somber. "Be nice to Millie." He bit out. "She's a good girl. And there has never been any concrete proof as to who is older. For all we know, I could be hours older than you!"

Knives snorted. "The human wretch may be a reasonable chess opponent, but she is still an insufferable, dirty, little whore. And as far as you being the elder brother goes, compared to me you are a simpleton and a clown." He gave Vash an affable smile. "My greater maturity may not be the concrete proof you wish for, but I believe it to be enough."

To that Vash shrugged and relaxed back into his chair. "Where's the fun in being serious all of the time?" he smiled. "And like I said, Millie is a good girl. Be nice to her."

A soft knock at the door stalled their argument. Stepping inside, Meryl cast a look around the hot, dimly lit room with a frown and a tired shake of her head. Walking over to the counter behind them, she set down her borrowed serving tray. "Good afternoon, boys."


	33. Because of You

Hello Happy People!

I am so sorry for the long wait I've put everyone through on account of this chapter. It's been nearly done for weeks and just chilling on my computer, giving me the occasional dirty look or obnoxious wet-tongued raspberry from the desktop. Then a few days ago a good friend of mine, who also happens to be my new and amazing beta reader, gave me a good kick in the pants that convinced me finishing this chapter was what I was going to do with my weekend, even if it meant doing nothing else (Which I really didn't). At this moment I have no greater wish than for this next installment of silly, and I hope at times romantic, drama to brighten someone's day and bring a smile to their face. I also hope that the length of the chapter will excuse it's ridiculously extended gestation period.

So without further ado, I present to you Chapter 33, Because of You.

Ct

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><p>Grinning like a fool, Vash leaned forward in his chair, his elbows coming to the table and knocking chess pieces to clatter across the floor, and gave Meryl a cheery hello. "Hey, Meryl! What's for lunch today? Are the kids here yet?"<p>

Meryl leaned with one hip against the counter, her arms folded loosely over her chest, and a bored expression firmly set in place as she turned to look at them. Knives knew that look well; it was the one she reserved for him. Every afternoon she sat with her face blank and her eyes distant, as if imagining herself far away from where she was. Once in a while it would slip and she'd give Vash a smile or a frown when in Knives' presence, but it wasn't often.

Impassive eyes trained on Vash, Meryl gave a terse reply. "A creamy pasta salad. Not yet, but I saw them gathering over on the Clarke's front porch."

Vash nodded. "Well, I better hurry up then!" Standing, he began packing away the chess set into its modest brown case.

Life amongst these heathens was unbearably dull. The chess set was something of a diversion, but did nothing to make up for the captivity Knives found himself in. To put it simply, he was bored. The only amusement he could find was in the harassment of his hosts. Even that had begun to pale as the weeks stretched on, and Knives had been forced to find a new pastime.

For the better part of the last two weeks, Knives had made it his goal to break Meryl's mask of indifference. He'd tried various approaches to making the unflappable human wretch blanch, but none had so far been successful. His outrageous and graphic stories of murder and torture, all of which were true, did little to create the looks of shock and revulsion that he sought. Neither did his bloody and excited threats on her life and every living creature within the miserable little town, which he fully intended to follow through with as soon as the time was right, cause even the batting of an eye lash. Although he did occasionally notice a tightening in her jaw as she ground her teeth, with what he was sure was a mix of horror and disgust, Knives didn't count them as wins.

But today, yes today he was feeling good. Today would be the day he finally won.

Meryl bent to pick up the pawns that had rolled across the floor and set them on the table near Vash. "There's a plate made up for you on the table and more in the large blue bowl in the ice box."

Snapping the box shut, Vash turned to Meryl with another smile. "Thanks, Insurance Girl, I'm not sure what I'd do without you."

Knives just barely held in a snort at that but couldn't help shaking his head. Meryl didn't bother with such restrictions and let out a loud grumble. "Oh please, you two would be out in the middle of the desert starving to death right now. Bandages over there," she jabbed her thumb in Knives' general direction, "would still be half dead and likely as not be suffering from an infection right now." Muttering darkly to herself under her breath, Meryl turned around to pick up her tray from the old and cracking counter.

A pitiful pout threatened to take over Vash's face as he began making his way over to the door. "What is today, pick on Vash day?" He stood straight with shoulders pulled back as he grabbed the door handle, the picture of offended dignity. "I'll have you know that I'm plenty smart and have been taking care of myself for years."

"Yes, but it's the taking care of others part that worries me," Meryl tossed at Vash before he closed the door with a click.

Setting the tray down in front of Knives with a sigh, she took her place in the stiff hardback chair across from him. He watched her pick idly at the handle on the chess box a moment before turning his attention to the colorful pile of mush slopped across his plate. The tiny, dark-haired woman before him was really a terrible cook. He hadn't had a decent meal since coming to this wretched town.

Spearing what looked like a green pea on his fork, Knives sat considering Meryl a moment. The woman was clearly miserable. She had no desire to be sitting here with him. In fact, _he_ had no desire for her to be sitting here with him, ridiculous emotions game or no. So that begged the question, "Why do you sit with me?"

Meryl glanced up at him before looking again at the chess box. "I said I would, so I do."

Knives smashed a couple of red, well, red somethings, with his fork and nodded his head. "Yes, but why do you sit with me? You're clearly miserable, and I certainly take no joy in your company." He eyed the curly piece of yellow pasta at the end of his fork critically a moment before placing it in his mouth. It was palatable. "You could always leave after giving me my lunch and return to take the tray away for cleaning when I'm finished. That seems better for us both."

Meryl turned her blank look on him. "Yes, but then I'd worry about how much time you needed, knowing you'd throw one of your fits if I took too long, thus creating a stress headache from said worry that I do not need."

Knives saw her brow twitch and smiled, knowing he'd nearly gotten her to frown when he hadn't even been trying. Yes, today was the day.

He shrugged and speared another curly pasta and a red something onto his fork. "Oh, I'm sure we could create a working routine," Knives drawled.

"The real question," Meryl said as she leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs, "is why do I come up here at all? No," she shook her head. "A better question is why do I allow you to stay in my house? That's one I ask myself everyday as I walk up the stairs to this stuffy, Godforsaken, room. Why?"

"Ah, but that question we do know the answer to." Knives' smile grew as he waggled his fork across the table at her, a pair of slimy noodles flopping limply at the end. "You love my brother, which is not a surprise. It is hard not to be taken by something bigger and greater than yourself. But it leads you humans to do such illogical things. And really, what hope do you have in that endeavor anyways? You can never have him."

Again her brow twitched, and it egged him on.

"Yes," Knives picked up his mug and smiled. "You are aware of our _secrets_ I believe, but I can fill in the details for you if you like. Just in case there's something dear brother left out." When Meryl did nothing but stare blankly at the wall over his shoulder, Knives decided to take it as a 'yes please'.

Setting his mug back down on the tray, Knives settled in to his story. "Long, long ago, generations before you were even thought of, Vash and I were found on the lead starship of a large fleet making its way through the galaxy. You see, these ships were filled with thousands of humans that dreamed of colonizing a new planet because the one they had left behind was destroyed. Now, don't mistakenly think that this was due to an outside force, for it was by their hands that the human home planet was lost.

"At first things were well for Vash and I, but after seeing the true nature of humans, I felt it my duty to permanently remove their threat from the universe. However, my plans were thwarted by Vash's original pet human, Rem Saverem, and her infernal bleeding heart." Here Knives paused with a dramatic sigh and looked at Meryl sadly. "Because of her a rift formed between me and Vash, and it has only grown wider as we travel through the years and across this polluted planet.

"And somehow time and the strange workings of the universe saw fit to deliver us both into the hands of two deplorable and highly inept human beings. The one with a temper like a sandstorm has the unbelievable audacity to fall in love with one of us, no matter her lowly standing relative to us and the greater universe, while the other is nothing more than a common, every day, dirty whore."

He watched Meryl closely as he finished his story and was rewarded with a narrowing of her eyes and thinning of her lips. Ah, so he had finally guessed right. His smile broadened. "Since then I have become a real life Boo Radlley. Well, have I explained things in a way that you can understand?"

Replacing her careful mask, Meryl slowly focused her eyes on Knives. "You've lived a very sad and lonely life, haven't you?"

Tilting his head back, Knives let out a hearty laugh. He should have known that she wouldn't go down without a fight. She was proving to be real entertainment today. "Oh, hardly. If you were to live as long as I have, the rosy glasses you see the world through would be gone as well."

Meryl shook her head. "No, I think I see the world quite clearly, thank you. And if you would kindly refrain from using such crass language when speaking of Millie, I'd really appreciate it."

Perfect. "What language would that be?" Knives asked sweetly. Again a brow twitched and Knives couldn't bother to hold back his grin. He was winning!

"You know very well what I mean." Meryl said through clenched teeth. "Millie is a good girl and deserves all of the support she can get."

Relaxing into his chair, Knives adopted a concerned frown. "How do you propose I support a whore who was too stupid to keep from becoming pregnant? Please, I'd love to know."

Meryl's hands tightened into fists in her lap as he watched her struggle to keep her calm. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe you could say something kind to her every once in a while. After all, it's your fault that the father is no longer with us."

That Knives hadn't expected. He killed Millie's lover? How perfect was that? "Are you serious? I killed the father?" At Meryl's dark look Knives let go of all reservations and laughed. It was his fault the miserable girl was missing a lover _and_ he had finally won his little game. Today was turning out to be a very good day indeed.

"How can you laugh like that?" Meryl exclaimed. "What you've done is beyond words!"

Knives wiped tears of laughter from his eyes. "Please, it's no worse than any _human_ has done, so why should you care?"

"Because I _do_. I've never seen anyone find so much joy in the knowledge of killing a man."

Knives frowned. Her nagging was beginning to wear away at his happiness. "I'm sure the man was a thief and a fool. The world is better off with one less pest."

"How can you say that? There was a lot of good in that man, and he died protecting us! And in what way are we pests?"

"I've seen what you humans are capable of," Knives sneered. "You lie, you cheat, and you don't think twice about causing pain or death so long as it benefits you in some way." Although it seemed impossible for his rage to build any higher, Knives' features darkened and his hate seethed around the grim, suffocating room to where Meryl sat rigid with her own anger. His next words built in crescendo as he leaned menacingly over the table. "When you don't understand something, you're terrified of it and do everything you can to destroy it. You're loathsome creatures who only bring pain and suffering to those around you, and had no right to spread your disease across this galaxy!" Knives' hand cut sharply through the air in front of him in his excitement and anger, bringing a physical emphasis to his statement.

Meryl's nails dug into the soft skin of her palms as she struggled to keep her voice level. "It's like you willfully reject all of the good around you," she bit out. "You're with people who have provided you with good clean clothes, food for your table, and a roof over your head. You have an incredibly forgiving brother who is doing everything he can for you. And let's not forget all of the good people in this town who have shared their work, their food, their services, and their lives with us. What about these things? What do you think of them?"

Knives looked at her with disgust. "You're all egotists. You don't do something unless it helps you."

"Well I certainly wouldn't do something that would cause me harm." Meryl snapped.

Malevolent looks of the level to which Knives deigned share with Meryl are a rare and chilling sight. After a moment he slowly sat back in his chair again, allowing his lips to tip faintly into a horrifying mockery of a smile. Seeing the shiver he caused snake down Meryl's back, the smile only seemed to settle more firmly into place. "Admit it, not one of you is actually selfless. Who does something simply because it's the right thing to do? You work not to help others but to make money. You tolerate my presence in this house not because you care for me but because you long for my brother's love." He swung his hand in front of himself as if to wave her off. "You and every human like you only does something if it's to your benefit."

Unable to contain herself any longer, Meryl leaned violently forward in her seat, spreading her hands across the edge of the table. "You judge us so harshly, yet how is what you do any better? Your actions are in nobody's best interest except your own, and even then I question your judgment.

"No! You listen to me!" She spat as Knives made to speak, and in doing so bowled him over in her fury and desire to say her peace. "You crashed us here! You actually crashed us here!" Meryl swept her hands back, indicating the stuffy room, the decrepit house, and the miserable, parched planet they all were on. "Before that, we had so many options and so many possibilities ahead of us. We could have landed somewhere with forests, beautiful oceans and rivers, and rich land that people had a chance of living by! But no. You crashed us here, and we'll never have the chance to see these things." Her expression was pained as she said this, and she dropped her hands back to the table.

"Then you go out of your way to destroy two of our largest cities, leaving them as nothing but a pile of rubble and a memory." A hysterical bark of laughter broke from her throat as she stared at him incredulously. "And then, and then you have the gall to judge us for our actions. No one has killed as many people as you have. No one has wrecked as many lives as you have. You are a vile and unhinged person with a loose grip on reality if you have any at all."

Meryl stood then and picked up the tray of half eaten food from the table. Her face was no longer a blank mask of indifference but a raging storm of anger and disgust. "Yes, some people are nothing but rotten, selfish bastards who do unspeakable things I can't even begin to imagine, but you can't judge us all by them nor model your life after theirs. Life is not that simple and the world so black and white. I hadn't thought you so naïve." Her eyes narrowed to slits and her voice dropped to barely above a whisper as she stared him down across the dark room. His face twisted in anger and hatred as he stared back. "If I ever hear you speak poorly of Millie again, anything at all, I will make sure you regret it. That's a promise."

Turning sharply on her heels, Meryl crossed the room and only just kept herself from violently slamming the door shut behind her. When she reached the kitchen, she threw the tray onto the counter, sending it crashing into the wall beside the ice box. The force of the impact hurled the mug onto its side, spilling red juice into the plate of pasta and knocking the fork to the floor with a series of sharp, metallic clanks. Leaning heavily with hands on either side of the sink, Meryl closed her eyes and struggled to pull deep calming breaths into her lungs.

Lost as she was in her own world, the light hand on her shoulder startled Meryl and she spun around with a gasp and wide eyes. Vash was looking down at her with equal surprise and not a little bit of concern.

Realizing how close they were and that he in effect had her pinned to the counter, Vash took a quick step back and let his hand fall down to his side. "What's wrong? I heard a crash, and I come in here to find you shaking like a flag in the wind. Are you ok?"

Wrapping her arms around herself, Meryl looked away embarrassed. She'd forgotten about everyone sitting in the front room. From where she stood she could just see Millie and the kids beyond the railing of the stairs. They were laughing and giggling as they played a game of cards around the low coffee table. "Don't worry, it's nothing." She mumbled.

"Meryl. Meryl look at me."

The concern and worry in his voice took her by surprise, and Meryl looked up to find Vash standing impossibly close to her once again. She could smell a mix of the fresh scented detergent coming from his cotton button down and the spicy aftershave he had recently taken to applying in the morning. He was head and shoulders taller than her, and his look was one he'd never had occasion to give her before.

She hated him seeing her like his.

"Meryl," he tried again. "What's wrong? What did Knives do to you?"

She gave a derisive snort and scowled. "What did he do? He didn't actually do anything, I suppose." Her arms tightened their grip as she doggedly forced herself to keep eye contact with Vash. She felt ridiculous for what she was about to tell him; hadn't she only just told Vash not to pay attention to any words that came from his brother? And here she was throwing a fit over them.

"It's what he says." She finally forced passed her teeth. "He says these terrible things and tells me horrifying stories filled with murders and tortures I never would have imagined. And he laughed!" A hysterical bubble of her own laughter found its way out, and she shook her head. "He thought it was so damn funny that he was the one who had Mr. Wolfwood killed and is the reason that Millie's baby will grow up without a father. He thought it was so damn funny."

Meryl's voice trailed off to a whisper before a dark glint lit her eyes. "And the things he said about Millie! If I ever hear him say anything like that again, well, I haven't quite decided what I'll do because everything I can think of is still too damn good for that bastard, but know that he won't like it!" With a heavy scowl, Meryl emphasized her point by way of a sharp jab of her index finger into Vash's shoulder. This gesture seemed to do little for his trust in her sanity, if she could read his expression at all.

The simple act of talking about Knives was rekindling the rage that surprise and embarrassment had momentarily covered. She could feel herself shaking again. The whole situation was just so bizarre and outside of anything she'd ever experienced that she wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh, cry, or run away screaming. They all seemed like perfectly viable options at the moment, and she was considering trying out all three at once.

"I," Vash started and stopped again, uncertain of what to say. His look was so sad that Meryl feared he might begin to cry on her as he pulled her into a tight hug, trapping her arms between them. "I'm so sorry." He whispered into her hair. "I didn't realize, you never told me-" Vash broke off again. His hold on her tightened.

Meryl hated it. She felt like a small child being comforted by her father. It didn't help that she knew he was old enough to be her great-great-great grandfather, and that compared to him she really was nothing but a child. But she knew that wasn't what he was thinking, and if anything needed comfort as much if not more than she did at the moment. Finally giving in, Meryl leaned into him.

"Vash," she whispered into his chest. "I'm sorry. I really am, and I tried so hard." She paused as she struggled to regain possession of her hands, but Vash merely tightened his hold. Meryl sighed. "I didn't want to say anything to you because he's your family, but I do." The words slowly tumbled from her mouth and she couldn't find it in her to stop them. "I hate your brother so much. He is a terrible man who is completely unhinged and dangerous."

Vash let out a soft sigh that puffed warmly through her hair. "I wish you had told me sooner. I only asked you to sit with him because I thought it would do him good to be around people. At the first sign of trouble I was going to intervene, but neither of you said anything. Things seemed to be going well enough with Millie, so I thought things were similar with you."

Meryl held back a laugh. 'Oh no, Knives simply has it out for me. He doesn't like that an inferior being such as me has fallen in love with you, so I suppose that I'm a special case. I'm a particularly offensive breed of human, if you will.' But she didn't say this. What she said was very different even if just as true. "I didn't want to say anything. You don't talk like that about a person's family."

"Yes, but Meryl, he could kill you."

She took a shaky breath and let more of her weight fall into Vash's strong hold. "Well, can he do anything without a gun?" Vash slowly shook his head against hers. "Well, then let's just keep all weapons away from him, yes?"


	34. Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

Bright morning suns shined down on the small desert town. Looking out from any street, porch or storefront, the only thing visible was a sea of sand stretching out for miles in every direction. To the north the monotony was momentarily broken by a single finger of deep brown rock reaching desperately up to the sky. However, over time even this became commonplace and was seen with as much excitement as any piece of sand may be given.

The dim upstairs room of a small house along the west edge of town was wrapped in a thick blanket of silence. Per the unusual custom of the latest tenants, the heavy curtains hanging over the windows were drawn shut, leaving people to wonder and speculate as they walked down the streets below.

While the people living in the house were considered a joy and a pleasure to be around by most, rumors circulated on hushed whispers concerning the injured guest being kept in the closed upstairs room. Was he a mad man? Was he dangerous? As the man never left the house, those who had been lucky enough to see him before he was rushed inside the day he arrived say his injuries were terrible; was he still alive? Others noticed that the doctor was never once called on; were they treating him well?

The two men sitting inside the dim and stuffy room of which there was so much speculation sat apart from one another, pushing at the boundaries of the four walls closing them in. All attempts at communication that morning were forced and finished with each in his own corner, eyes trained resolutely away from the other. A lapse into the former pattern of tension and barely concealed anger and frustration customary of their first weeks there settled heavily around them, contrasting with the air of civility and enjoyment that had begun growing and blossoming there just days before.

Vash sat quietly at the small wooden table, looking blankly into space as his hands played idly with the white king he'd pulled from the chess case beside him. His shoulders had a tired slope to them that had been created by sleepless nights spent running in confusing and endless circles. There had to be another path; if he couldn't see it, then he just wasn't looking hard enough.

Across the room Knives sat in the tiny bed, propped up against the headboard by pillows and folded blankets. What roads his mind wandered as he stared intently at the curtained window Vash could only guess at. Closing his eyes and giving a thought to Wolfwood, he prayed to understand.

Since her crashing entrance into the kitchen three days ago, Vash had stubbornly kept Meryl from the upstairs room. Knowing them both as he did, he had figured a few days apart would do them good and allow for tempers to cool. Even though she had objected to such boundaries, saying she wouldn't back away from a commitment no matter how tough it was, Vash could see she was thankful to have the break.

But what was he to do with Knives?

The man was stubborn and fought against anything that didn't coincide with his plans of human extinction. How is a person meant to reason with someone so certain of their beliefs? Even worse were the plans that had slowly been coming together to see this future made real. Why couldn't Knives see that everyone deserved a chance?

"Knives." He said it softly, pleading. Please look at me. Please listen to me. Please understand. Please, just please! "Knives, you need to let it go. _I_ need you to let it go. I know a few humans made a terrible decision, that can't be denied, but it was so long ago. If Rem's sincere sorrow and apologies weren't enough, isn't the never-ending punishment you've given all of us of life on this planet enough?"

Vash let out a heavy sigh. "There are so many more enjoyable things in this world than the grudge and fear you drag around with you. You've just got to look for it." Vash paused, searching his brother for any change, any reaction. "I think it's time to move forward, and I don't want to do it alone."

As silence was beginning to once again wrap itself around them, Knives finally spoke. He didn't move and his eyes never left the curtained window. In his voice was the exhaustion of centuries. "It'll never be enough."


	35. Smoke

"What was I to do?" Meryl asked angrily as she plucked another fork from the large basket of silverware on the bar top. Giving it a cursory glance as inspection, she dropped it amongst friends in a large metal cup with a growl. "There I was, cornered against the sink in the kitchen without even having had my first cup of coffee yet, although I could hear it percolating in the coffee pot on the counter behind me, and him standing there accusing me of trapping the wretched man in our upstairs apartment like I was some demented jailor! I assure you that I've done no such thing. It's all by their own doing that he sits up there all day, although I really can't say that the fact bothers me in the least." Scowling, Meryl tossed a handful of spoons from the basket and into the shinning metal container between the ones of forks and knives with a loud, angry clink.

Jen's laugh echoed around the dim saloon, catching the startled attention of the small group sitting in the back corner, as she finished drying a serving tray and stacked it under the bar. "Really Meryl, I can't believe that Vash accused you of that. That man has a heart of gold and a soul purer than a newborn child's. He couldn't accuse an enemy of something like that let alone _you_." Tossing Meryl a challenging grin, she reached for another freshly washed serving tray from the stack beside her.

Meryl's scowl only deepened. "I suppose he didn't say it in so many words, but he did ask me if it was ok for them to sit out on the front porch this afternoon as if it was all up to me."

Jen shrugged her slender shoulders and grabbed another tray. "Well, if I understand correctly, you are the one who has been playing doctor to your unwelcome guest. There's also the fact that you and Millie are the ones paying rent, so I can kind of see where Vash is coming from. He's just showing you respect."

Meryl's face relaxed into a frustrated frown as she continued sorting the silverware. "Yeah, well, then he needs to find a different way to show it."

"Yeah?" Jen challenged her again. "Or maybe you could just tell me what's really got you upset. You've been tied up in a knot like this for days."

If only she could. The story was so ludicrous that only her months of traveling with Vash let her believe it. To tell anyone else was asking for mockery and the address to the nearest psychiatrist. Besides, Vash promised that he could handle everything, so there was no reason to get anyone in town worked up over their problems. "It's nothing."

The bar had been unusually quiet that night. Not that Tuesday evenings weren't usually one of the slowest days of the week, but the only people Meryl had seen her whole shift was Christian and a few of his friends from well digging. They had been sitting across the room at one of the round wooden tables since sundown, slowly working their way to the bottom of heavy glass mugs and beer bottles. Aside from the occasional laugh and call for another round, they'd kept more or less quietly to themselves.

Quiet wasn't all bad. It's true that Meryl preferred keeping herself busy to standing around without purpose or direction, but the evening had been a relaxing one spent in the good company of Jen, Kote, and their family. The little they had to do of cleaning and inventory passed pleasantly with easy chatter and good natured jesting.

The swinging door to the kitchen and stock room swung open behind them, and Kote came out carrying a large plastic tub full of glasses still dripping wet from being washed.

Seeing her husband and his load, Jen's face fell. "Oh, Honey," she moaned, "you said we were done for the night. Where did you find all of these?"

Letting the tub down on the counter, the cups clinking as they were jostled about, Kote turned and dried his hands off on his frilly white apron. Earlier that evening Jen had stolen his heavy red one as a joke from the peg he hung it on during his break, leaving hers as his only option when he returned. With an indifferent shrug, he'd taken it down and tied it around his waist before going back to work.

"Dad found them behind a crate of whiskey." His young face twisted into a grimace as he looked back at the tub. "They looked like they had been there a few days, and I'm not sure what we did to them before letting them sit for so long, but whatever it was we shouldn't have. So really, if anyone should be sorry for their discovery it's me. Those glasses were bad."

"Oh, you poor thing." Stepping close with a solemn look, Jen leaned up on tip-toes and affectionately kissed one corner of his mouth. "Thank you for braving the terror that is our abused and neglected dishes."

Kote quickly reached up and grabbed hold of her waist to pull her close before she could get away, and dipped his head down next to hers. "Is that all the reward I get for being so brave?"

Jen shook her head and smiled, her eyes rolling dramatically, before giving in to his kiss. When he didn't seem interested in pulling back anytime soon, she did so herself before slapping him lightly on the shoulder. "Come on now, not in front of an audience!"

Refusing to completely let go of her, Kote looked around the saloon, his blue eyes incredulous. "Oh, come on now. There's no one but a half dozen drunken manual laborers in the back corner. They don't care one wit."

"That's not who I mean." She whispered. "I mean Meryl." Jen jerked her head in the insurance girl's direction with a meaningful look.

Meryl, who had gone back to sorting silverware, lost in her own spinning and frustrated thoughts, looked up at the sound of her name. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

Jen looked up at Kote with a pained expression. "See? The poor girl is so broken up about the distance still between herself and her buea that she can't even stand the sight of a lover's quick kiss. She had to hide herself in work just to distance herself from it all."

That put Meryl on guard, and she looked at the two of them warily. "I don't know what you've heard, but I assure you that-"

"Come on Meryl, I was just playing with you." Jen laughed. "But really, what's up with you and Vash? I've been watching you two for months now and even had to nurse a broken hearted little brother back to health when he finally realized your attachment to him. Spill!"

"I, there's nothing, I don't know what you've heard - it's all a lie!" Meryl stammered out in a panic. Her eyes were wide in her bright red face, warm from her blush. Looking like the mouse cornered by the cat who can't decide if it wants to run or stay and fight, she stood with a fork and spoon clutched tightly in one hand.

"Oh Sweetheart, the whole town knows." Jen said as she pulled away from Kote. "In fact, Nina and Misha were in here helping me mind Kadence just the other day, and the three of them were asking if I thought you'd let them be flower girls at your wedding. Apparently the speculation of it is pretty major gossip amongst my sisters and their friends." Leaning forward with a conspiratorial grin, she whispered, "They don't want to start rumors or anything, but they're expecting it any day now." Laughing, more at the sake of her young nieces and daughter than Meryl's, she leaned back and grabbed up the last serving tray and her rag.

"Shoot," Kote said as he leaned against the bar, his eyes sparkling at her through sandy-brown bangs, "even I have noticed, and Jen is always telling me I don't pay attention to anything outside of this saloon, so that has to be saying something."

Spinning around on her heels, Meryl threw the silverware in her hand quickly in to the cup of knives and reached for another handful from the basket beside it. "There's nothing. I promise. Even if there was a chance for something to happen, it isn't. It won't. It can't."

Kote looked over at Jen with a shrug before turning and walking back to the stockroom. As the door slowly swung back to a stop behind him, Jen sighed and shook her head.

Both young women were quiet for a few minutes as they continued their cleaning. Meryl sighed as she saw the spoon and fork she had thrown in the cup of knives, and pulled them out. This was ridiculous, getting so worked up about a little teasing. It was like she'd never had a crush or a boyfriend before! When Meryl felt her cheeks had cooled enough and she was again in control of herself, she ventured to start a new topic of conversation. However, it wasn't lost on Jen that Meryl hadn't moved too far away from her favorite subject.

"You know the coat your mother made, the one Vash ordered?" She waited for Jen's hum of acknowledgement and continued. "It's very beautiful. She dropped it off this afternoon around lunch. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. It's made from the softest leather I've ever seen."

Jen nodded. "I was impressed with it myself; she really out did herself this time. The soft olive-colored lining goes well with the light color of the thomas leather. It took her hours of sifting through the leathers and cloths outback in their shed to find the right skin for the coat, and even longer to find the buckles and clasps she wanted. I'm not sure she's ever put so much work into a coat before." She shrugged. "But like I said, I think she really out did herself on this one."

"All of her work paid off." Meryl smiled sardonically. "It's the nicest thing in our house right now."

Jen smiled back. "I imagine. I was actually thinking to ask for her help on making Kote one. His birthday is coming up next month, and his current coat has seen better days."

Meryl nodded as she placed the cups of silverware under the bar and began helping Jen with the glasses. "I could see him wearing something like it. Maybe with a few less bells and whistles, but I think a long coat would suit him."

Scraping of a chair across the floor and good natured shouts across the saloon caught the girls' attention. Christian was waving goodbye to his friends and making his way up to the bar to close and pay his tab.

"Finally decided to make your way home, have you?" Meryl asked with a smile. "It's nearly midnight. I can't imagine Kim will be pleased that you stayed out so late."

With cheeks warm from the few drinks he'd indulged in that evening, his dark eyes shone brightly under the fringe of his bangs. Pulling out his wallet from an inside pocket of his vest, he gave them an easy smile. "Nah, she'll be fine. I told her not to wait up, as I'd be late. She knows."

Handing him back his change, Jen just smiled. "Take care on your way home, Christian, and we'll see you soon."

"Aye, that you will." He said with another good natured smile and made his way from the saloon.

Meryl watched after him till he stepped down from the saloon's front porch and was gone from sight. "He's good people. His whole family is."

Beside her Jen nodded. "They really are. It's been nice having them in town." Covering a sudden yawn, she threw her rag down on the bar. "Lord, where did that come from! I think I could use some fresh air. Wanna join me?"

Tossing her rag down as well, Meryl nodded. "That sounds wonderful, actually."

The night air was crisp and cool compared to the still stuffy saloon. Tiny slivers of moon that were visible were still low on the horizon, offering little light. Because of this, the town was quiet and dark, and it took a moment for their eyes to adjust to the little light coming through the grimy windows behind them. Even then it was difficult to see beyond the porch's edge.

"Millie is sending her letter of resignation from the job back to headquarters tomorrow." Meryl said quietly.

Rubbing at her arms to keep them warm, Jen looked over at the small, dark haired woman beside her. She looked worn and tired as she leaned slouched against the wooden post. "I'm sorry. I know you two are very close." After a quiet moment she smiled and bumped Meryl with her shoulder. "Can't you just see it? Millie is going to be an amazing mother. You'll have to keep me posted on how everything goes. Every letter you get from her you'll have to tell me about!"

Meryl smiled. "Yeah, I'll-"

Gun shots.

Sharp as a knife and with all of the subtlety of a bullet to the head, three harsh rapports of a handgun rang out across the sleeping town.

Meryl's blood ran cold as the last sounds of the shots ricocheted around town. "Christian." Without thinking, Meryl was off the porch and running in the direction she had last seen him. Nothing could have happened to him, not to Christian! Nothing could happen to the Clarks. They were good people! They didn't need anything like this in their lives! It couldn't be happening!

Meryl was half way down the street, a derringer in hand from a hidden pocket under her apron; Jen shouting in panic behind her on the porch, desperately trying to call her back, when her heart gave a lurch and missed a painful beat in her chest from the next shock that took hold of it.

Loud, delighted laughter rang out through the night before a man cried out at the top of his lungs. "I've done it! He's dead! The Humanoid Typhoon. The Sixty Billion Double Dollar Man. Vash the Stampede!" The man laughed again, nearly bring Meryl to her knees. "He's dead! Completely dead! And I'll be the richest man in the universe!"

Six more shots ripped through the broken peace of the night.


	36. I'm not OK (I Promise)

Meryl forced motion back into her legs and willed her heart to cease it's painful staccato against her ribs.

This couldn't be happening. He couldn't be dead. The man couldn't die! She'd seen thousands of people try, and none of them had succeeded; so who the hell was this man that thought he could kill the infamous Vash the Stampeded?

Meryl ran the last three blocks back to her house with her feet barely touching the ground before they tore up off the street again, kicking up sand in a thick cloud behind her. Oxygen ripped at the lungs inside her chest as she struggled to pull the freezing night air into her body, and the adrenaline screaming through her veins refused to ease the racing of her heart.

Upon reaching the house, Meryl saw that nearly all of the lights were on and the front door was wrenched wide open. She took the steps of the porch in a single leap, and braced herself for what she was to find inside and who.

To her surprise the couch and all of the downstairs was empty. Sitting halfway up the stairs, dressed in her nightgown and with her stun-gun lying at her bare feet, was Millie sobbing uncontrollably into her hands. "He's gone. I can't believe he's gone. It all happened so fast. It always does."

Without stopping, Meryl raced passed Millie to the upstairs apartment; she didn't have time for tears right now. The first thing she saw on reaching the landing was Christian's stiff back framed in the doorway to the bedroom. The room's lights were off, but she could see he had one hand held up over his face while the other hung loosely at his side. Lying forgotten at his feet was his gun.

Before Meryl could say anything, he spun around and stared at her, a look of horror and fear in his eyes. "I think I'm going to be sick." He said and pushed passed her to the bathroom across the landing, his hand still over his mouth.

From where she stood, Meryl could see a pair of booted feet lying motionless on the floor just inside the room, and she suddenly felt her resolve waver and was no longer so keen on entering. The room was deathly quiet; the only sounds Meryl could hear were Millie's weeping on the stairs and Christian vomiting in the bathroom behind her. Nothing came from the room; no moans, no screams or crying, and no one was stepping out.

Whatever had happened, whatever she found in this Godforsaken room, was going to change everything. She could feel the moment closing in around her as it locked into place, and knew it could very well bring all of her slowly forming hopes to a cruel and bitter end. What if he really was - ! There really was no choice.

Time seemed to come to a standstill as Meryl stepped into the room; dread and fear kept thought and emotion suspended somewhere as a hard lump in the pit of her stomach, and she took in the scene with a strange, detached sort of calm. Lying at her feet, just steps from the door, was the man Christian had loosed a full round of bullets into at pointblank range. The disgusting, pitiless, hapless fool hadn't stood a chance as they tore through the thin materials of his coat and shirt and into the soft flesh of his back. In the fragments of light streaming in around her from the landing, Meryl could see the thick pool of deep red spreading out around him. A distant part of her pitied the poor soul whose job it would be to clean him up.

Across the room, in a puddle not unlike the one their attacker laid in, was Vash, curled protectively over his brother whose head was resting gently in his lap. Even from that distance she could see he was beyond the reach of any help.

As always, the air in the room was hot and stuffy. Behind them the chair Vash always sat in next to Knives was knocked on its side, and the bed sheets were in a tangled mess on the floor beside them. Again, that distant part of Meryl's mind still functioning came forward and thought of how she'd never be able to make them white again.

She felt she should say something, anything, but everything that ran through her mind felt wrong and inadequate, and she knew it would sound forced and fake. Her relief that amongst all of this gore and horror Vash was still alive overshadowed any grief she felt in the moment. Grief and tears would certainly come later; she wasn't so hardened to life not to feel at a man's death or for a friend's loss, but she couldn't right now.

There was so much blood.

Behind her she could hear Christian's dry heaving into the toilet, his stomach already emptied but his nerves too scrambled to pull himself together, and for a brief moment feared she'd have to join him. Taking a deep breath, she slowly turned around and walked back down the stairs.

Sitting down next to Millie, Meryl wrapped her arms tightly around her and pulled the sobbing girl to her shoulder. Millie wrapped herself around Meryl as a heart wrenching wail tore from her throat. "Shhh, Millie. Millie, listen to me." Meryl whispered softly into her hair. "Millie, I need you to tell me what happened. What happened here tonight?"

Millie shook her head. "I can't."

Meryl gently stroked her back, and although she felt bad for pushing her, asked her again. She needed to know what happened. "Millie, I know it's hard, but you need to tell me. Take a deep breath and talk with me for just a few minutes. We're going to sort all of this out, but first, I need your help."

After a moment Millie nodded her head and pulled back, leaving behind Meryl's soaked shoulder. With a loud, wet sniff she wiped her sleeve across her nose and turned red rimmed eyes to Meryl. "It's all my fault." She moaned.

Meryl shook her head. "No, it couldn't be. I know this isn't your fault."

"But it is!" the distraught girl protested with a pathetic sob. "I'm always the one who locks the door at night! Always! But tonight, I was so tired, and I decided to go to bed early, and I completely forgot! So it's all my fault that man broke into our house and that two people are now gone forever! Once people are dead, they never come back, Meryl! Not ever!" Falling to a fresh wave of sobs, she let Meryl pull her back to her shoulder and wrapped her arms around her again.

The upstairs toilet flushed, and Meryl could hear Christian turn on the faucet to wash his face. A few minutes later he came down the stairs, his hair dripping wet, and he stopped a few steps below them to lean against the wall. Meryl watched him over Millie's shoulder a moment as he stood there quietly, staring vacantly into the kitchen. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "I've never," he stopped and cleared his throat. "I saw the man enter your house as I was walking home, but I didn't think much of it until I heard the gunshots."

He took another deep breath and closed his eyes. "So stupid. If I hadn't been drinking tonight, I would have known something was wrong right from the start. It was only a few drinks, but," He shook his head. "Either way, I was too late. By time I got here, Millie was halfway to the stairs with her stun-gun. Seeing that she was fine, I pushed her back as I didn't want anything to happen to her or the baby, and ran upstairs. Seeing both Vash and your guest lying on the floor, I guess I panicked, and I just-" He slowly lifted his arm, shaping his hand into a gun, shot an imaginary bullet over the railing and into the wall.

No one had anything more to say after he finished, and silence took this to its advantage, wrapping itself confidently around them.

Noticing it for the first time since she entered the house, Meryl looked at the derringer in her hand where it rested on Millie's trembling shoulder. With a sudden wave of revulsion, she threw it away from her with a cry and watched as it landed at the bottom of the stairs. Startled, Christian's eyes came back into focus and he looked down at it as well.

Footsteps stomped across the front porch, squeaking the loose board, and Sheriff Gongora came bursting in the door looking rumpled and half put together as if someone had just woken him. Taking in the three on the stairway, he frowned. "What's going on? What happened?"

With his face and eyes still vacant, Christian pointed silently up stairs to the room, and stepped aside to let the sheriff pass.


	37. In My Life

It took one day for the autopsy reports, two days for the release of information on the autopsy reports, and three days for the confirmation that Vash the Stampede, The Humanoid Typhoon, was the first deceased victim of the Tuesday night shooting.

Or at least that is what Millie and Meryl worked hard to have everyone believe. Official reports stated that the man Amos Daunt, a member of the growing Seventh Moon gang that has recently started building a nasty reputation, broke into the residence of Meryl Stryfe and Millie Thompson with the intent of gunning down the infamous Stampede. Neighbor Christian Clarke, who arrived on the scene moments after the attack, was unable to save Vash, but did stop his attacker from escaping. The autopsy, done by Doctor Panessidi, concluded that the cause of death of The Humanoid Typhoon was the bullet that grazed the side of his heart.

Unofficially, and known only by so small a number as five people in all the world, is that upon seeing their attacker, Knives stood from his bed and took the bullet for his twin brother who had fallen asleep in the chair beside him.

A short viewing in the funeral home's parlor was scheduled for that Saturday, four days after the attack. Vash, or rather Knives, is to be buried in the small graveyard on the edge of town immediately after.


	38. Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

The potatoes were nearly done boiling, the chicken breasts in the skillet were golden-brown and ready to eat as they sat in their sauce soaking up flavor, and the pudding was already in the fridge waiting to set and be smothered in fruit slices and hand-whipped cream. All that was left was to steam the vegetables she had cut earlier and to slice the bread.

Dumping the green and yellow vegetables into the old pot, Meryl let out a long held breath with a tired sigh. Everything was going just fine. Her report for Bernardelli was nearly written and in the editing stages, the government officials were satisfied with their reports and on their way back to the city, final arrangements with the funeral home for tomorrow had been completed that afternoon, and Millie was setting the table.

Yet the stress knot that was growing between her shoulder blades was still throbbing and Meryl could feel another headache coming on. She wasn't the only one feeling the weight on her shoulders; she could see it pressing down whenever she looked at Vash or Millie. Vash had left his hair down the last three days and there was noticeable stubble growing across his jaw, which she supposed wasn't exactly inappropriate considering the circumstances and his current state of house arrest. But it was the look in his eyes that made Meryl pause. Millie was quieter than normal, her smiles a little slower and not quite reaching her eyes. More than once Meryl caught the young woman gazing into the distance with her hand resting lightly on her still even stomach. They were all so tired.

Sleep seemed to be nervous about visiting their house the past few nights, and it didn't appear as if he planned to any time in the near future either. On an off chance that one of the three found themselves in a vertical position, it was only to toss and turn for a few hours before getting back up again. In a clouded daze they shuffled and ran about the house as necessary, talking with this person, filling out that paper, signing on that dotted line just there. At the end of the day they would lay down to the relief of their sore feet and tired eyes and quietly reminisce of what it had been like to sleep.

The level of the caffeine providing coffee had looked rather grim the last time Meryl checked the canister, which was a worrying thing considering she still had to make it through to the end of Saturday. With as much as there was yet to do, it was impossible to believe that she was going to find any time to make it down to the general store for more before Sunday afternoon. She could put three bags in one cup, but even then tea just wasn't going to cut it.

"Meryl, I think they're here," Millie informed her quietly as she placed silverware on the napkins beside each of the five plates on the table.

Meryl let out another sigh before turning with a smile from the stove. "Good. Dinner is just about ready." Wiping her hands off on the white apron around her waist, Meryl moved into the living room just as there was a knock on the door. "Coming!" she answered.

Christian and Kim stood quietly beside each other on the porch. Rays of light from the setting suns bounced off of the front windows of the Clarke's house across the street and into Meryl's eyes, forcing her to squint. The affect left the two on her porch as little more than dark shadows. Stepping aside, Meryl ushered their company into the house.

Kim lifted her hands up before her, revealing a small bottle of wine. "I'm sorry it's not much, but I wasn't sure what to bring. I hope white is ok?" she asked quietly.

Accepting the proffered bottle with a smile, Meryl shook head and spoke softly. "I said you didn't need to bring anything and that I had dinner covered, but thank you. White wine will go just fine."

The three moved together quietly from the dim living room with its drawn window curtain into the kitchen. Millie stepped from around the table with a smile and hugged each of the Clarkes tightly. After deflecting all offers of help and graciously accepting compliments on the wonderful smells circulating the room from the stove top, Meryl and Millie finally steered their guests into seats at the dining room table, each with a glass of wine in hand. Turning back to the counter and stove, the girls finished transferring dinner onto serving plates and into bowls.

"Sorry about the cups," Meryl apologized as she set a large bowl of breads slices, fresh from the oven and still warm, onto the table. Already having filled the cups that actually matched in the house with water before Kim and Christian's arrival, the girls were forced to serve the wine in something else. What they found were Meryl's two stained coffee mugs, Vash's giant glass novelty stein with the chip in the rim, and a small children's cup that had been collecting dust at the back of the cupboard. "We haven't been very big drinkers lately," she said with a pointed look at Millie who smiled, "and even then there was a better chance of finding a whiskey or beer bottle on the table. Wine is going to be a real treat."

Since sitting down, Christian had taken to eyeing the monstrous stein in front of him as if gauging whether or not he was up to the challenge of lifting the thing to his lips without dropping it or spilling everything down his front. "It tastes the same regardless of what cup you put it into first," he responded good naturedly while still looking at his cup. Finally smiling, he shrugged and decided to take his chances.

"Where are your boys tonight?" Millie asked as she sat down at the table across from Kim.

"Jacqueline is watching them for us." Kim replied with a tired smile. "They were both very excited to be spending the night with Caelum and Andreus."

Meryl hung her apron over the back of her chair and stepped into the dim living room. Vash lay stretched across the yellow couch with one arm behind his head and the other hanging down to the floor. He'd been like this all week. Meryl hadn't been surprised that he decided not to reclaim his room. To be honest no one had been upstairs since the bodies had been carefully moved to Doctor Panassidi's and the room was cleaned Tuesday night. Meryl herself hadn't been back up to the room since she walked Vash down stairs to the couch.

A few stilted words to Sheriff Gongora and the government officials had been all they could get out of Vash. Since then he'd barely said good morning or good night to her and Millie. She didn't like him wallowing on their couch, but she couldn't think of anything to do for him. It was very reminiscent of the shock he suffered after the Legato incident and Meryl worried that if he fell to it again, she wouldn't be able to bring him back this time.

"Hey," she whispered. The couch creaked as he shifted to look up at her. "Dinner is ready."

Nodding, he sat up and rubbed at his face. With his hair down around his chin, Meryl could see now more than ever the resemblance between him and Knives. As nervous as she had been about the whole ordeal, it was no wonder they'd been able to pull it off. Unable to look away, she watched him stand up and offered him a small smile. He offered a smile in return, but with his tired eyes it looked more like a grimace. As they walked into the kitchen, Meryl feared that hers didn't look much better.

Dinner passed pleasantly enough. More compliments were given to the fine cooks for the food being as delicious as it smelled. Kim shared stories of the most recent shenanigans her boys had gotten into, one of which involving a small black cat, a spool of thread, and a marker. Millie told in worried tones of the fight she overheard between Susan and Dan Krause down at the general store before being assured that it was a common thing between the old couple and nothing to worry about.

Talk was easy and constant throughout the meal, but no one mentioned Tuesday night. It was a dark miasma floating around them that was as inescapable as the darkness of night outside, but that didn't matter. All efforts were geared toward avoiding any acknowledgement of it for just this moment. Right now was for dinner and friends, not grief and pain. This moment was a much needed respite from reality, and thus it was willfully rejected just this once. It was an odd and endless balancing act to remain between the tense and relaxed atmospheres vying for consumption of the room.

Vash was despondent through much of the meal. He hadn't done more than pick at plates of food the past few days and tonight was no different. Pieces of chicken made laps around his plate and bread slices soaked up sauce to the point of saturation as he drifted between the conversations around the table and his own thoughts. Occasionally he would look up and smile or add a comment of his own before falling silent again.

Soon dessert was served, with much excitement and many hoorays from Millie, and the dinner party began to draw closer to it's end. Conversations slowed and meandered. People sat back quietly in their seats, letting the food settle and the wine calm. Finally Millie stood to clear the table, stacking dishes in the sink, and Meryl refilled the pitcher with water.

"So," Christian cleared his throat and looked expectantly at the insurance girls as they sat back down. "You know that we love you all, Meryl, but what's the real reason for inviting us over tonight? I know it wasn't just for a casual dinner with the neighbors." He smiled across the table at them.

The unspoken agreement for taboo broke with Christian's words and the atmosphere around the table shifted again. Both insurance girls sat a little straighter in their seats as it became obvious that it was time for business. Meryl sat the child's cup down on the table and Millie gave her first genuine smile in days.

Per usual, Meryl took the lead. "Even with circumstances as they are, we wanted things to be as formal as possible."

Beside her Millie giggled. "That's why we made dinner! And I think Meryl did a great job of it too! The fact that you guys are our good friends and neighbors is just a lucky bonus."

To Meryl's other side Vash gave a wan smile as he looked into his coffee mug. "I find it incredibly ironic for me to be here, but I do agree with Millie."

The Clarkes exchanged confused glances. "I still don't understand," Kim said with a frown.

"Firstly, we would like to say thank you." Meryl smiled. "Thank you for everything you both have done for us since we arrived here. The help you've provided this past week is beyond anything we could have asked or hoped for." Her face fell into a serious frown as she looked between the two in front of her. "It took a little string pulling and I had to call in a few favors, but I want you to know that we couldn't think of a better gift and thank you. By noon this Monday, the reward for capture of The Humanoid Typhoon will be deposited into your bank account. "

"We hope you make good use of it!" Millie burst out at the stunned couple across from her. She bounced in her chair with barely contained excitement. "We worked really hard to have it put in your name, and we know you deserve it!"

"I, I don't know what to say!" Kim stuttered. One hand covered her mouth as the other reached for her husband beside her. Blinking rapidly, she tried to hold back tears. "Truly, I can't even –"

Kim's searching hand finally found Christian's and he picked it up, gripping it firmly. He shook his head in disbelief. "This is too much. I shouldn't be rewarded for murder."

Meryl shook her head. "Don't think of it that way. You saved at least one life that night, if not more. Amos was a known criminal with a price on his head as well. The cap-"

"That's right!" Millie butted in jubilantly. "You guys get his reward as well! It isn't much compared to Mr. Vash's, but five-hundred double dollars is still money you didn't have before!"

Meryl's eye twitched at Millie's shout inches from her ear and her exhausted brain struggled to clamber back on track and finish her speech. She needed another cup of coffee. "Right, as I was saying, capture of Vash goes to you, Christian. You were the one there at the scene and directed Sheriff Gongora upstairs. The reward goes to you."

Kim was openly weeping now. Christian pulled her close and hid his face in her hair. "I don't know what to say. How can we ever expect to thank you? Reward for the murder of a man I consider a friend, and who is still alive no less, is beyond imagining."

"There's no need to say anything beyond thank you." Vash said quietly. He looked up and met Christian's eyes with an intent gaze. "That's all I can do as well; the reward is gift from the girls. Again, thank you for saving my life."

Christian reached across the table and shook Vash's hand.


	39. Carry That Weight

Rubbing at bloodshot eyes, Meryl leaned back in the little wooden chair and let her head fall back with a stifled groan. After a moment her fingers slid to the sides of her head and began messaging her temples, slowly kneading out the aches and pains. As she watched shadows cast by the tiny table lamp play across the bedroom ceiling, she once again ran through her mental checklist of paperwork that still needed proofreading. Earlier that day Millie had handed her a thick envelope that had just arrived from Bernardelli with more forms and figures that needed going over. If time travel were possible, Meryl would certainly consider going back in time and saving Knives just to avoid this mountain of paperwork. Who knew that the man could ever be a lesser of two evils?

The squeak of bedsprings shifting groaned behind Meryl as Millie rolled over. The poor girl had finally found sleep an hour or so ago after Meryl assured her that things were nearly done. That of course had been a lie. There were days of paperwork ahead of them as Bernardelli couldn't possibly be done sending them thick envelopes of forms and claims. It would be months of work for the office before this case was settled and closed. Not even history's worst sandstorm had caused as much damage and paperwork as Vash had, and people had still been filing claims and complaints six months after the matter.

Meryl forced her body back into an upright position and reached for her coffee mug. Taking a drink as she flipped through a pile of papers, she nearly spat it back out into her cup in surprise. Ugh, cold coffee. Sighing, she stood up and shuffled quietly out to the kitchen. If she remembered correctly, there was a little left in the coffee pot. Sure it would be burnt and old, but she was nearly out of coffee and couldn't be wasting it like she had done with the bit in her mug.

The house was deathly silent, but Meryl felt like the little red light on the side of her coffeepot was offering her a friendly wave of hello and encouragement. Narrowly avoiding the table and a bruised toe with help from light dimly following her out of the bedroom, Meryl crossed the kitchen and rinsed out her mug at the sink. She considered adding sugar but decided she'd had enough sweets at dinner. Besides, she would make too much noise clinking around the cupboards. With her cup once again full and the coffeepot's welcoming light flipped off, Meryl was loath to return to work.

She hadn't gone this long without sleep since her days at school, but she could still recognize the hints her body was giving her. She was reaching the silly, slapstick humor of fatigue, which was the precursor to the syrupy thick thoughts that her brain struggled to swim through and navigate with any precision. Hopefully the coffee would help, because she really didn't think she was going to be able to sleep regardless of how she felt. Sighing, she sat down at the table and let her head fall into her hands. Why couldn't she sleep?

There was just too much to be done and too many problems to fix. Her brain couldn't quiet long enough for more than a cat nap, which really did little good at this point. This created a vicious cycle because a tired brain only caused more problems and errors to fix.

A quiet grunt and the creak of the couch reached Meryl's ears. Was Vash still up too? It was going on three in the morning and the Clarkes had left hours ago. By all rights they should all be sleeping now. Making a decision, Meryl stood with her coffee and walked to the living room.

The light from her bedroom didn't reach the dark of the living room, but Meryl could still see Vash sitting slouched in the middle of the couch with his head fallen against the wall behind him. For a man who usually cries at the drop of a hat, Meryl had been in shock to pass the week without seeing a single tear. It was a lonely thought, but Meryl hoped he cried when he was alone. If not, then things were going to come to a crushing head and she knew it was going to break her heart when it did.

Meryl knocked softly on the wall with her free hand, catching his attention. "Mind if I join you?" she whispered. He glanced at her without saying anything and slid over a little to give her more room. She sat down beside him, tucking her feet beneath her, and leaned against the armrest. Unable to think of anything, Meryl held out her mug. "I made coffee, would you like some?"

"No, thank you." He whispered back.

Meryl nodded her head. "Right, of course, I don't think I have ever seen you drink coffee before. I suppose a doughnut would be more your thing, but I don't think we have any more. Aside from preparations for dinner tonight, Millie and I have rather neglected the pantry." Meryl stopped her babble with a sip of coffee.

Vash took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "No, I understand. I'd run out for things myself, but that would ruin all of the hard work you and Millie have been doing; we can't have anyone around here seeing my face. Too many people would recognize me." He fell silent again.

They sat quietly beside each other, neither saying a word as Meryl slowly drank her coffee. She was just no good in these situations. This was more Millie's area of expertise, but Meryl couldn't wake her up now, not after so many sleepless nights. What was a person supposed to do at a time like this? She recalled Millie saying something once about a person's company sometimes being enough. Was this one of those times?

"I'm alone."

Startled, Meryl's head spun toward Vash. "What?"

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly again. "I am alone." He said it as a statement, an irrefutable fact, and it fell heavily against Meryl's ears. "With Knives gone, I am officially alone. There is no one else to pass the years with except for my sisters, who are nearly impossible to visit, and let's face it, Knives was a better conversationalist." A bitter laugh fell from his lips. "I am alone."

Meryl frowned. "Millie and I are here. And what about Jessica and the doctor back on the ship? There's a whole world of people here!"

Vash shook his head. "Yes, but for how long? How long will you be around?"

"You listen here, bub." Meryl hissed through her teeth, trying to be quiet. Turning she poked his shoulder. "You're not getting rid of me that easily. I've hunted you down before and I will again if I have to. So no more of this alone stuff, because you're not! Millie and I aren't leaving you!"

"Meryl, you're not listening. I am alone." Vash repeated. She could hear anger in his voice and he wouldn't look at her. "I will outlive all of you. I will live to see all of you buried beneath the ground, lost to this life forever. Even if we do continue whatever it is we are doing right now," his hand gestured limply around the room, indicating the house and the town and the whole silly farce of a home life they had built around themselves. "I'm not your job anymore. I am alone and I am dead but not dead." His voice trailed off to the lightest whisper. "I should be dead."

"Don't say that." Meryl snapped. Red hot anger seethed through her and she couldn't look at him, she had to turn away. How dare he? How dare he wish he were dead! After all of this hard work and stress she and Millie had been through! After what Knives – "Don't say that."

And with that Vash collapsed on himself. Falling forward he hid his face in his hands and cried. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry, but I should be dead. I'm the one that bullet was meant for. It's me that had the price over my head." He sobbed quietly into his hands beside Meryl on the old yellow couch, his whole body shaking with each one.

Meryl blinked and looked around as if someone else might be standing in the room with them, ready to comfort and support a grieving soul. All anger had drained out of her as quickly as it had built up, and she was left shaken and uncertain with a painful weight on her chest. Her first instinct was to stand up and run from the room, from the tears and the pain; she didn't know what she was doing! Gun wounds and ruined buildings she could work with, but how does a person go about fixing a shattered soul and a broken heart?

"I really am pathetic, aren't I," Vash choked out with a humorless laugh beside her. He gave a wet sniff and shook his head. "I'm dead but not, and can't even go to my own funeral! So many people have died because of me and it's as if I'll never die. I deserve to." He began working himself up, his anger burning inside him. "It's my fault. I never sleep in that chair let alone that soundly. I should have been more alert! I should have," he choked on another sob and was unable to continue.

Terrified and shaking, Meryl unfolded herself from the couch and set her mug on the coffee table. She couldn't leave him like this. Not again. Still sitting beside him, Meryl wrapped her arms around Vash and pressed her forehead into his shoulder. His whole body stiffened beside her for a moment at her touch before going limp again. She tightened her hold.

"Vash," Meryl's whisper caught in her throat and she took a deep shaky breath, struggling to settle her nerves. She could do this. "Vash, listen to me. What he did, what Knives did, was one of the bravest, most selfless things I've ever known anyone to do. He gave you the greatest gift he could ever give, and I want you to know that I will thank him every day until the day I die for what he did."

Her fingers tightened their grip in his shirt as she shook her head angrily against his shoulder. "So don't you ever wish yourself dead. Don't you ever! Doing so is the most disrespectful use of a gift I have ever seen, and his should be your most cherished one of all. He gave you his life and a future! You're no longer the Humanoid Typhoon or the sixty-billion double dollar man. You're just you. And you are _alive_, and that is more than most can say."

Finished speaking, Meryl realized the house was quiet again, Vash's crying finished. Now it was her tears that were silently falling, and she couldn't seem to stop them as she struggled to catch her breath. He mumbled something into his hands but she couldn't understand him. Still crying, she forced her voice to work around the lump in her throat. "What?"

"The ticket to the future is always blank." He whispered, louder this time and his voice clearer. Turning in her arms, he wrapped himself around her, tucking himself into her shoulder. "Thank you. I forget sometimes. I needed to hear it."

Nodding her head, she readjusted her grip on him, turning into a more comfortable position. "Just promise me you won't give up again. Just promise me that."

His arms tightened around her. "I promise. That I can promise you."

They sat quietly together for a few moments before Meryl sighed. It felt good to just sit here with him, to just be for a moment, but her nose was starting to run and she would be beyond mortified if she started leaving streaks of boogies across his shirt. At that thought she cringed as she began imagining the boogies _he_ was leaving across _her_ shoulder.

His body tensed against hers and he pulled back from her just enough to look at her. Not that it really mattered; the room was so dark that he could barely make out her nose, let alone what she was thinking. "What's wrong?"

Sniffling, she pulled a hand to her nose and looked away. "Nothing," she said thickly. "I just need a tissue. It's bad enough that I cried all over your shoulder, I don't need to start using it to wipe my nose too."

Laughing wetly through a sniffle of his own, he let her go so she could stand. "I could use one myself. I don't need you beating up for ruining your blouse."

"Ha," she scoffed as she started walking to the bathroom. "Because I could hurt you?"

"I think you underestimate yourself," Vash said as he rubbed at the back of his head, ruefully remembering all of the times she'd hit him. "You've got a pretty good right hook."

"Don't think I'm going to apologize for any of those." She said as she walked back into the living room. Sitting down again, she offered him the box of tissues. "As far as I'm concerned, you deserved every lump I gave you."

"Of course, of course," he said to appease her, holding back a smile. She sniffed at him as he reached for an offered tissue and blew his nose.

A yawn forced its way passed Meryl's lips and she reached for her mug of coffee. It was thankfully still warm, but there was barely a sip left. Looking into her empty mug, she leaned back against the couch and contemplated returning to her desk. There was still so much to do, but every cell in her body felt beaten and drained. Vash was in a state worse than her, and she didn't want to leave him alone tonight. Then again, she didn't want to force her company on him either.

The couch dipped beside her as Vash leaned back again, and Meryl glanced at him out of the corner of her eye to seem him staring at her. "What?"

"I was wondering, if you could do me one last favor." He whispered.

Putting the coffee mug back on the table, Meryl turned and looked at him expectantly. "Of course. What do you need?"

"Do you mind staying out here with me for a while, and just talk? Quiet time spent thinking to myself hasn't seemed to do me much good." It was obvious from the way he spoke he was embarrassed and frustrated with himself. "It doesn't matter what we talk about. We could talk about cooking or thomas riding or how long you think it would take to cross the desert by foot." He laughed. "You could even give me a lecture on all of the paper work you've been slaving over. Anything."

Meryl nodded her head slowly and made herself comfortable. "I don't see why not. At least for a while." She thought for a moment before frowning at him. "Haven't you already crossed the deserts by foot? Why are you asking me how long it would take?"

He shrugged. "I don't know if I've walked across all of the deserts, but it does feel like it. Like I said, we can talk about whatever you want. I'm just looking for the company."

It was impossible to tell in the dark, but Meryl had a feeling he was laughing at her. The jerk, she was doing this for him! "Right. Anything," she mumbled as she searched her mind for a decent topic. She needed something without ties to painful memories. "Ok then, I have a question. How is it you've never learned how to drive? With as much traveling as you do, it has to of been necessary or convenient at one time or another."

He shrugged again. "There's always been a bus I could hop on, and if not, I'm capable of hoofing it to wherever I'm going. It's the same with thomases. Plus you have to take care of them, and that's a lot of work."

Meryl nodded in understanding. "That's true. When I was little we stabled a thomas just outside of the city for a while, and she kept me busy for hours at a time."

Conversation continued this way without either keeping track of time. The first sun was just beginning to show itself when Vash looked over and realized Meryl had fallen asleep. It certainly explained the long span of silence since her last response. He'd thought she was just that interested in how the colony ships worked, but apparently he hadn't needed to struggle against sleep for so long. It'd been so tempting, but he couldn't pass out on her after asking her to stay with him.

She laid curled against the armrest with one arm for extra cushion under her cheek. Bits of her dark hair stuck up at odd angles around her head and he couldn't for the life of him figure out how she could have possibly fallen asleep in the space of just one cushion. Then again, she was a lot smaller than him.

He smiled.

Covering a yawn, Vash let his head fall back against the wall and let his eyes droop shut. Meryl had the right idea, as always.


End file.
